Chapter 3 - Weathering through the storm
by DigiConjurer
Summary: (Book 4 of Princess of Byleth) The arrival of someone new brings the start of changes for all parties of Gareg Mach. Especially as an unexpected opponent begins to head for war...
1. Bring on the thunder

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: A certain someone returns to the academy, bringing with her an argument for her girlfriends. Or in other words, just a regular day at Gareg Mach.

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**Log 27: Bring on the thunder**

Rhea didn't consider herself that much of a selfish person. In most situations, at least.

Was it really too much to ask to be the first person who got to see her pet whenever they got back home from a long trip? Sure, to some people she had an actual name and was needed to do very dangerous missions for the sake of keeping the peace. But those people didn't get the big picture. People like Shamir at the moment.

Yet here the two women stood at the edge of the academy, waiting for their favorite person.

"You got her first last time, Lady Rhea." Shamir muttered, getting an eye roll from her employer. Yes, she was willing to share her pet with other people. They just needed to wait their turn. Simple as that.

"You already know what my answer is." Rhea countered, every part of her body holding in the urge to tear this particular retainer apart. She had no problem with this stubbornness. It was more the need to talk back to her at times that killed it. Even rubbed a bit onto her pet as well. Such feelings would be the death of her should they spread somehow.

Gazing out into the distance, a motorcycle zoomed across wet roads. The rain had made for less than ideal conditions, but the person riding at the moment had taken it in stride. Even as they climb their way up the hills, they seem to have everything in control. But inside, it was anything but at the moment.

"They're probably already fighting." the rider thought, making sure to keep control in these less than perfect circumstances.

In a perfect world, she would take both women as her wives. But such things as a perfect world are mere fairy tales told in the hopes of getting your spirits up. Reality was quite a fickle beast, let me tell you. Ask Charlotte if you want a less than pretty picture of it.

Part of her wanted to stay by Shamir's side. But the rider knew she was bound to Rhea - one way or another. Eventually, she was going to have to give one of them up or that choice was going to be made for her without a second thought.

Yet, she slowed her motorcycle down as the entrance to Gareg Mach comes into view. Once she gets to the bottom of who gets to be with her first, then it was time to get out of this leather getup and into her actual clothes. Even if Shamir thought she looked cute when she had it on. The archer had that way about her, throwing the rider off when they were together. It was far different to when she with Rhea. With her, there was always control. Though which particular game they played seemed to change each time they were in the bedroom. Not that this was a bad thing, outside of the whole 'you're-my-pet'. It was cute, sure. But sometimes she wondered what made the archbishop think that. She was very clearly a human being. Unless Rhea either saw herself not as human or somehow... wasn't, this should be concerning. Yet, why did she seemed so ready to ignore that? Oh dear.

Nonetheless, she brought the motorcycle to a stop.

"Welcome back, Catherine!" Rhea and Shamir greeted, lacking any real sign to hold out. Boo.

The rider then gets off and pulled their helmet off. Locks of blonde hair flood out, light blue eyes gazing upon both of them for the moment. She's tired, but that's more the result of what time it was than actual exhaustion.

"So, who gets me first?" Catherine remarked, watching her two girlfriends look at each other. Then back to Catherine. Oh dear. Maybe you can come to an agree-

"I get first round." Rhea announced, picking up her retainer and walking off. "You can have her tomorrow. Maybe. Or you could just join us."

It took everything inside of Shamir at the moment to not flip her boss off. What made her think that she could have the sole ownership of this one woman? Maybe Catherine wanted other things - things that didn't involve Rhea in some capacity.

Even if her boss did deserve it, having pulled the same stunt last time. But right now, those sorts of thoughts had no place here. She had a mock battle to assess.

* * *

Notes:

I always kind of feel bad for Shamir in regards to the Black Eagles Route. You either leave her with Catherine for Crimson Flower, or you betray Edelgard and get both. Okay, maybe that isn't as hard of a decision for some. But still.

Next Time: The black eagles return to Gareg Mach and Mercedes breaks the news of her house switch to Dimitri.


	2. The Mystery of Deduebear

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: In which Mercedes tries to break the news of her change of House. Dimitri takes it as well as you think he would and Dedue tries his best to support his prince.

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**Log 28:** **The Mystery of Deduebear**

Waking up, Dimitri had not expected to be treated to visitors. Unless it was Dedue. He was always welcome in the prince's book. Especially when he brought Deduebear along with him. Those times were always the best when it's just the three of them. Not that he would ever admit such a fact.

"Coming!" he announced, making his way over to the door. As for his apartment, everything looks broken. We've got a TV with a good chunk missing in the living room, seated right on an entertainment center that was damaged during the building process. Or wasn't designed to support the TV's weight in the first place. A rug torn down the middle sits in front of a door, the door itself looked to have a few holes in it from improper use. Which begs the question on how the fuck did Dimitri use that door wrong. That doesn't stop the prince from twisting the knob and pulling the door open. Except for the fact that he accidentally ripped said knob off in the process. Though, Mercedes being on the other side of said door more than made up for it. Hopefully.

"What do you need?" he inquired, watching the dom take a deep breath. She looked away, doing her best to compose her statement.

"Dimitri, I… I... joined uuup with the Black Eagles." Mercedes explained, watching her former house leader shift his gaze away from her and stare into the doorframe. "Some things happened last night and I needed to reassess my priorities."

Even with that explanation, the words didn't quite register in the prince's ears. They seem impossible to an extent. While his step-sister didn't seem like the sort to manipulate people, this seemed like treachery to an extent. There had to be a far better explanation for such a change of heart. Just had to be.

"So what exactly happened then?" Dimitri countered, gaze returning to his former classmate. She's tired, bags having already formed under her eyes. The fact that she looked ready to fall asleep.

"Adult things, Dimitri." Mercedes answered, letting a yawn escape her lips. "When yoooou wake up at 2 in the morning and find out some fucker has stolen one of your beloved cars, it only seems natural to join up with the people. Makes life a lot easier too."

Dimitri did a double take, Mercedes already heading back for her room. While it was clear that someone needed a heck of a lot more sleep, Not that I really blame her in this moment.

"Come back!" he announced, but our dom wasn't in a listening mood at the moment. Thankfully, she ran right into Dedue of all people. Speak of the devil, I guess. Decked out in his officer uniform, he appears to be holding something large.

"Oh hi, Dedue." Mercedes greeted, glancing to her left. What looked to be a large bear of all things hung to his back. I would say it was one of those Castoc bears. You know, the big ones for like 18.14 euro or something along those prices. But on closer inspection, it would appear that the material of this bear is made of stronger stuff. It's also dressed in the finest clothes that teddy bears can buy - a pink zebra suit and slacks with matching fedora of course. Because when I think of such outfits that obviously the first thing that I think. "If you don't mind me asking Dedue, where exactly did you get that bear?"

The retainer's face turned almost as red as a rose. Gaze turning to Dimitri, whispering of an honest question followed. Definitely not how either of them expected to be starting out this particular morning.

"Uh… Castoc." Dedue answered, trying to push his way by Mercedes. Of course, the dom was not going to give up this strange fight so easily.

"You just didddn't go into Castoc and buy a bear like that. Especially one decked in that outfit. Those only commmme from specialized sites." Mercedes continued, letting out a yawn as her attention split itself between the two guys. "Sooo, would you kindly tell me where you got that bear?"

Dedue didn't answer, taking the time to set the bear down right beside Dimitri. Then it was back to Mercedes for the moment.

"Uh… You see, his majesty is sometimes rough on things. So I found this site that sells very rough teddy bears…" Dedue explained, cheeks growing even redder. I'm not sure how that's even possible at the moment, but I'm seeing it with my own two eyes. Somehow. Okay, there was one time that Nyx went a color similar to that. It was after a romantic dinner at a restaurant in Hoshido. Nothing upscale, but more than enough to spring the question of a union. She said yes, of course. Well, it did take a couple of seconds to really process what had just happened. It was really cute.

Back with our trio, we find Mercedes's eyes trying their best to stay open. Even more so as the dom cleared her throat.

"You dooooo realize what peeeeeople normally do with those sort of plushies?" the dom explained, swaying about as she got ready to head off.

"What exactly?" Dimitri inquired, fearing whatever answer might come his way. Fair enough. I'm quite curious myself.

"They fuck them."

With that, Mercedes headed for her room. Did not need to know that. Thank you very much. I didn't need to know that.

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Notes:

This is one of the more off the cuff entries. Yes, those sorts of bears are real. No, I don't condone fucking your teddy bears.

Next time: The disadvantages of having no door on your apartment.


	3. Open Door Policy

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: As it turns out, being barraged by people is perfect way to go to sleep. Said no one ever.

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**Log 29: Open Door Policy**

_You've been awarded 2000 gold to spend towards your teaching this month. _

Of course a pop-up was what woke Byleth up today. It wasn't enough she was running on an impressive -3 hours of sleep (which is quite an impressive sleeping feat). It was the fact that it turned out that her employer had chosen to forgo paying.

"I think we need to talk."

An angry Shamir just had to stumble right into her room, bringing with her some sort of bad news. She was going to need to talk to Mercedes about getting her a new door, but that would be something for another day.

Taking a deep breath, Byleth sat herself up and tried her best to focus on the irate archer.

"About what, exactly?" the professor remarked, finding herself on the receiving end of a punch. No time to brace, Byleth took as best she could. Which judging by the hole in the wall, was quite an accomplishment.

"You and your students were scheduled for a mock battle." Shamir barked, seeming even larger than she normally was in this moment. Or perhaps that was Byleth just curling herself up even more. "Except you know, none of you showed up."

Sitting back up, Byleth took a deep breath. Hopefully, she could make the archer understand. If not, she was in for a fight with a faculty member. That part would probably be easy. The discipline that would come after? Not so much.

"I know." the professor muttered, instinct taking on hold and bringing a hand to her sword. "We've already dealt with the bandits, though."

The words roll right on out, Shamir's gaze now even harsher. But then she shifted her focus to the ground.

"So in other words, you jumped the gun?" Shamir countered, her subject looking towards a wall. Muttering of something followed. "So who is to blame for this?"  
Byleth's gaze shifted back to her co-worker. While tempting to just pin this all on Claude and call it a day, that wouldn't quite be the whole truth.

"Caspar and Linhardt, with some help from Claude." she explained, lack of sleep ready to do her back in at any moment. "They took one of Mercedes cars, so she kind of grabbed all of us and we went to go grab them."

Shamir gave her a look. I'm not sure why you thought that story was going to be taken at face value. Let alone the idea that a bunch of students just casually sneaked off campus to go take on a group of bandits. Even win, that would put a lot of pressure on the administration part of the Monastery. Not that this school gives off the impression that they exist in the first place. Someone has to do all the paperwork, after all. Whatever piles that may exist.

"Fine." Shamir muttered, turning slightly. "But if I find out that this somehow wasn't the case, I will have your ass."

With that, the archer made her exit and Byleth collapsed back onto her bed. Maybe now she could catch up on a little slee-

"Now, just sit here." a voice announced, a neigh just echoing someone's mouth. Of course someone had to take advantage of this new open-door policy she had been gifted last night. Throwing all caution and good manners into the trash, Byleth got up from the bed and headed for her living room. "Oh! Here she comes!"

Exiting her bedroom, Byleth had to do a double take. In Claude's absence, someone had gotten the entire Golden Deer house to stage a sit-in in the living room. Minus Lysithea and Manuela. Which might be why Bartholomew had taken the place of the latter. Guess someone needed a 'little' personal time.

Yes, what Caspar did was absolutely idiotic. But that wasn't Byleth's fault in the first place. Even if the professor should've grabbed Claude for good measure.

"Can I help you?" she called out, just ready to go back to bed. Just one more distraction and then blissful sleep. Hopefully.

"We want our house leader back!" Hilda announced, shaking her fist at the professor. It would be threatening, if not for the fact that Sothis is currently laying on her head. Which is quite a feat of strength now that I think about it. Laziness as well, but that's beyond the point. "I actually had to put effort into coming here!"

Oh you big baby. You could've chosen to not come here with your classmates. Then you wouldn't have some random girl on your head playing on her 3DS. Though, this beautiful festival tune is playing in the background. Damn. I love this song. Mozu, are you hearing this?

My wife gives me a thumbs-up. She looks to have the song up on her laptop thingy. Which I'm not allowed to touch. Though from here, I can see it's called 'Land of Radiant Flowers'. Huh. Good to know.

"As the 'temporary' (possibly future) leader of the Golden Deer, I ask of you to give up any information you may have on our former class would be nice."

Byleth looked away.

"He was dumb enough to grab the keys from a woman strong enough to kick down doors." the professor countered, trying her best to hold it all together. Just a little longer and the bliss of sleep would arrive. Hopefully. "After that, I have no clue where he went."

That answer was not good enough in the eyes of the golden deer. So they brought the big guns out - their weapons. Oh dear, this went south real fast.

"Me don't want fight." Bartholomew announced, stretching out his wings in front of his temporary class. "Class leave Byleth!"

Uh… points for effort? Especially the look that your horse is giving at the moment. You could've at least growled at them. That might work. Usually Reina would do that. Always creepy when she did that. Wouldn't surprise if Corrin just found her going about her day - howling at wyverns.

Judging by the look of concern Mozu is currently giving me, she seriously thought I would go there. I could if you want, dear. The slap that followed I definitely deserved.

"You're not the boss of me!" Raphael announced, flashing a muscle to the wyvern. Not very effective. "Ha!"

Slamming his arm down, a table managed to get in his way. Sadly, the table is no more. Quite a waste. More money to come out of Byleth's pocket.

Of course, one more person had to make their entrance in that moment. Decked out like the grim reaper, it's just one more distraction to add to this seemingly never-ending pile of them.

"Hi Guys!" our newest guest announced and pulled their hood away to reveal… Claude. Well, fuck. Was kind of hoping he wouldn't show up. Byleth wasn't too amused either. Especially since it also brought a folder. "I'm back! Professor, here' your next assignment."  
Throwing it over to his rival, Claude made his exit. The rest of the golden deer follow behind. So Byleth opened the folder up.

_Go incognito as maids at a cafe to stop a rebellion that Lord Lonato might be causing at the end of the month. Also, take Catherine with you. She needs to look her cutest. _

Byleth took a deep breath. This is going to be a long month, isn't it?

* * *

Notes:

Yes Byleth, it definitely is.

Next Time: Our first actual teaching session. Then, we have ourselves a sick day for Edelgard.


	4. Good Morning Gareg Mach

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: We come upon a great new day. Nothing bad can possibly happ-

Too late. Rhea is here.

* * *

**Log 30: Good Morning Gareg Mach**

We come upon a new day, with a bunch of fixed doors to boot. Courtesy of someone. Maybe Mercedes. Or perhaps the elusive door fairy, who shows up if you're good and ask nicely for a new door. Back when I was actually 'young', I would spin quite a tale about such a creature. Usually no bigger than a blooming flower, they would come in the night to repair the doors of those who did good deeds and destroy the doors of those who were bad and evil. Or something like that. That was quite a number of years a-

Judging by the look that my wife is currently giving me, it would seem that the story of such a creature is still told to this day. Nice to see something I did having a lasting impact. Let me guess, you actually believed in those stories. Even if it sounded absolutely absurd for something so small to be able to replace something big like a door. I'll take that as a yes then. You can pay me back later in some regard. Your choice of course.

Back with our story, today was looking to be a great day of sorts. Whether or not it will actually be is a matter of a variety of factors - all of which boil down to attitude in the end. Funny how that works.

"Good morning, Ms Eisner."

Byleth's eyes flashed open, taking the time to sit herself up right after. There she found Rhea of all people sitting at the side of her bed. Kind of defeats the purpose of having Claude deliver that message yesterday. Not that any part of this school makes any fucking sense. You would think that eventually we would come upon something that does, but I don't know. We just haven't. Maybe this whole thing is an elaborate scheme for a dragon to stay in power. Not surprised if this somehow turned out to be the case.

"Is there anything that I can help you with, Archbishop?" Byleth inquired, getting a sigh in return. Followed by the throwing over of two child leashes. "Uh… what are these for?"

Rhea chuckled, leaning over and giving their pupil a slight pat. Uh… I don't think that's legal to do. Keep your hands to yourself, archbishop. It's all well and good till someone decides to sue you for sexual harassment. Or murder - like what happened with Peri. As it would turn out, murdering maids and butlers all willy-nilly gets you a class action lawsuit from their families. Yeah. Not sure how the heck Xander thought taking her on was a good idea. Which makes it all the more baffling that Felicia sticks around her like a little puppy. Flora hangs around her mistress, serving her and Azura's needs or something. But I digress.

"Just in case a certain kitty and her friend decides to go wild on the town." Rhea explained, getting a look from Byleth. "You and your students may now explore the surrounding city. Once you're done with lessons for the week."

Byleth did a double take. After spending the last two months cooped up, she and her students were going to get some freedom. But there had to be some kind of catch to this. A clause that bound her to some task. Well, if you didn't count having to dress up as maids for a possible protest that's occurring in someone's territory. Which I don't they would really approve of in the slightest. Something must be going on here.

"So the classrooms are now rebuilt then?" the professor inquired, watching her boss look away and chuckle. Uh… that's not a good sign. Might want to brace yourself. This could go south real fast.

"Nope!" Rhea answered, getting a look from Byleth. Don't really blame her for feeling that way. After going through all that work the last couple days, this doesn't seem like quite a reward. More of a punishment to some extent. "You're students are awaiting teaching."

With that, the archbishop makes her exit. What an ass. Yet, Byleth stood up out of bed. Still dressed in her pajamas of course.

"No thanks for dealing with those bandits?" Byleth countered and watched Rhea turn back around. "Do you realize just how much trouble that I went through for you?"

A chuckle, with this strange woman making her approach once more.

"Good job. Do you need your face kissed?" the archbishop remarked, making one of those sorts of looks. "I would be happy to give you one if you want."

A fireball stone came dangerously close to Rhea, just one more warning for her right now. Might not get so lucky next time around.

"Fine then." Rhea muttered and shot the living room a glance as she made her exit. Nearly took the door along with her. "Don't come running to me when things go horribly wrong!"

Yet, Byleth made her way towards her pupils. Wait. This a perfect opportunity to see her choice of pajamas. Look to be plain ones decorated with swords. Boo. That isn't even se-

No Mozu, not even your farm equipment on- Those are the less intimate versions? What do the intimates look like? No, that doesn't mean show me. Dummy…

After taking a couple minutes for my wife to parade herself around in her intimate farm equipment pajamas (which still look absolutely and I will not take that back), we return to our story. Thank god.

Currently, we don't quite find all the Black Eagles here at the moment. Sure, the knucklehead and his boyfriend had been through hell. They needed their rest. Hopefully.

"Uh… sorry about that." Dorothea remarked, looking away from her girlfriend. Which only seemed to bring her a head pat of all things. Aww…

"You did good." Byleth explained, Dorothea's face now cherry red. Looks surprisingly good on her. Maybe if there was more red on her, she be looking absolutely divine? Food for thought more than anything. "Where's Caspar, Linhardt and Edelgard?"

Her students looking among each other, giving our professor here time to get out some assignments. Thankfully? left behind by Rhea.

"Edelgard is sick." Hubert barked, letting out a sigh as he worked on his origami something or other, "Probably got it from the rain."

Byleth nodded, turning her attention to Mercedes.

"Was there anything in particular that Hanneman was teaching you?" the professor continued, finding herself handed a piece of paper. Looking down towards it, it would appear that the crest scholar had listed down all of the dom's aptitudes.

"Thank you." Byleth answered, setting it on the counter for future use. Possibly for a time when she was actually able to create actual lesson plans for all of them. Yeah. Sounds about right. Then it's over to the pile of papers. "Dorothea, could you get this to Edelgard?"

Dorothea nodded, taking the paper off her girlfriend's hand. Then it was just a matter of handing out the rest. Minus the two papers for our knuckleheads. Those would be served personally some other day. Right now, she needed to engage in actually teaching.

"Professor, it says that you want me to learn 'first aid'. Do I need to go to a welfare office in order to accomplish that?" Petra inquired, Byleth falling over. Mercedes and Hubert laughing not helping in this situation.

"No silly." Mercedes cooed, pulling what appeared to be a massive first aid kit from… somewhere. I'm not going to question it. "She just wants you to be able to heal yourself and possibly others."

Petra nodded, focus shifting to her girlfriend. An idea had come to her. One that could involve the dom in some way. But as she looked towards Mercedes, one look pierced right on through that plan.

"Don't even think about it, dear." Mercedes remarked, a chuckle following her statement. "Maybe when you're older."

Petra nodded, gaze just catching a fighting Bernadetta. Which made her freak out even more for some reason. There were no two ways about it. She was going to eventually have to kill someone. Why Ms Eisner really thought her of a-

A quick head shake dispelled those thoughts from within. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about that. Edelgard was currently sick. Maybe she could… make some soup? She was bound to like that. Right? If not, she could ju-

A paper ball from Hubert got rid of that thought. Ooh. Looks like someone is pissed. Which is a complete step up from his usual attitude of unamused.

"Hubert, I can only assume that the professor has her reasons for wanting you to take first aid on top of practicing throwing in heavy armor." Ferdinand suggested, getting a groan from his boyfriend. While he understood the feeling, that didn't mean he should lash out. Especially against Bernadetta of all people. Maybe Caspar, if he was here.

"Fine." Hubert muttered, focusing back on Byleth. "Is this everything?"

Byleth nodded, watching her students get to work. Briefing on the mission could happen some other time. Especially once everyone was all healed up and in one place. Yeah. That sounds like a good plan. Wonder what will go wrong in the process. I'm kidding, of course. Hopefully things work out for them.

* * *

Notes:

The only real thing that had to be cut here was Byleth losing door privileges. Again. Mostly just something in the way of continuity. Maybe a future entry.

Next time: We have our double feature of Dorothea snuggling with Edelgard and Shamir swordfighting Catherine in a parking lot. Then, Bernadetta making some soup. There's no way that some more bad mem-

I jinxed myself, didn't I? Oh well.


	5. Sick Days and Idol Time

I don't own Fire Emblem.

Summary: Edelgard gets sick so Dorothea brings a potential cure - an idol anime. Also, Byleth forgets how doors work.

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**Log 31: Sick Days and Idol Time**

Edelgard was not one for 'sick days'.

If possible, she would work her hardest regardless of whatever state she found herself in. Sure, people would sometimes make a fuss over sniffling and sometimes coughing in class. Then they would catch a glance from Hubert and promptly find themselves on the opposing end of some sort of black magic. Sure, that did land them both in detention a couple times.

This however, was no ordinary sickness. Sure, Edelgard was more than aware that her immune system was not quite up to snuff compared to the rest of her classmates (except for Lysithea). But this was getting ridiculous. A case of a simple cold shouldn't last more than a day, right? That just had to be the case. Why wasn't it for her? So here she was, cooped up in bed, wearing a borrowed t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. A far cry from her usual school outfit. Nor was it helped by Hubert also catching her cold and coming down with similar symptoms as well. As for who was taking care of him, that had fallen on Caspar's lap of all people. Edelgard almost felt sorry for her assistant. Almost.

"Oh Edie!"

Groaning, Edelgard turned her attention to the door. The future emperor was fairly certain she had locked the door, but this must have been the result of this stupid cold playing tricks on her mind.

Nonetheless, Dorothea let herself in. She had expected her to be dressed in her school uniform, maybe even one of those strange battle getups Byleth was so insistent on them all wearing. But no, that was not the case today. The songstress instead had gone for a casual look - plain burgundy t-shirt with a matching skirt. While such an outfit worked on her, it wasn't exactly the sort of thing that did her any justice. No, it seemed to detract from the sense of nobility she gave off - unintentional or not. But considering that this was a surprise visit, it could be looked past for this moment.

"Dorothea..." Edelgard muttered, trying her best to conserve what little strength she had at the moment in the hopes of having enough strength later in the day. More wishful thinking than anything else. "What do you need?"

The songstress took a deep breath, slowly making her way over to Edelgard. What looked to be a DVD case was clutched by her side.

"I was just coming to check in on you." Dorothea explained and held out the case. Unlabeled, who knows what was in store for the pair. "That, and to make sure you actually relax for once."

Her gaze shifted to a stack of documents, stuff that was likely not for her eyes.

"Just one paper, please?"

Dorothea shook her head. After, she popped the case open and pulled out what looked to be a DVD. She made the walk over to the TV, fiddling with the settings until she's on the right preset. Then it's just a matter of slipping the disc in and taking a seat.

'Oshare na ano ka mane suru yori'

Edelgard let out a groan and let her focus turn to her girlfriend.

"Really?" she groaned, trying her to hide her frustration within to the best of her abilities. Out of all the shows - idol or otherwise, Dorothea had to choose this one in particular. So what if the first season was just a bit over three times as long as a normal show. So what? It couldn't be that good, right?

"Yes, really." Dorothea countered, her attention now fully on Edelgard. "If you make it through the entire marathon, I'll give you something special~"

The words roll out and Edelgard reluctantly nods. It was just a simple idol show. What was the worst that this idol show could offer her at the moment?

"Fine."

.

"Mrgrgrgr… Why do I have hold their leashes?"

Byleth let out a sigh. It was one thing having to drag both Shamir and Catherine from a diner parking lot via child leashes, it was another having to grab Rhea's 'girlfriends' all while having the wonderful running commentary of Sothis in the background. She would give anything for a change of assignment.

"Because I need to check on Edelgard." Byleth muttered and approached the door, running right through. Thankfully, she didn't break it.

"Oshare na ano ka mane suru yori!" Dorothea and Edelgard sang, oblivious to the intrusion by way of their professor. A deep breath, then a smile. She makes her way back over to the door, phasing back on through.

"They'll be alright." she whispered, heading off with her posse.

* * *

Notes:

Welcome to the second (written) entry of Princess Byleth.

Oh yeah. The song sung our pair was singing at the end of this fic was 'Make It' from Pripara. Yeah. Probably not going to guess that.

Next Time: We have ourselves a swordfight.


	6. Showdown at Dinny's

I don't own Fire Emblem.

Summary: In which Shamir and Catherine have a swordfight. Of course, Byleth and Sothis have to go grab them.

Takes places in conjunction to Sick Days and Idol Time.

* * *

**Log 32: Showdown at Dinny's**

It was never a good sign when Byleth's phone rang. Usually, that meant something had gone wrong and she was needed to solve. Why they couldn't do that themselves was beyond her understanding.

"Coming!" Byleth screeched. Of course someone called when she was showering and nowhere near her phone. Of course, someone else had other plans in that regards. Thankfully, it's not something nefarious. Well, if you count the ability to float as 'cheating' in races.

"It's from Manuela." Sothis announced, holding up the phone for the professor to see. In retrospect, labeling her contact as 'Boobie Lady' was probably not the most appropriate thing to put as the contact name. "Also, why is Dorothea labelled 'Future Wife'?"

Byleth looked away, muttering something under breath. Out of all the conversations she was hoping to not discuss today, this was at the top of her list. Especially when coming out of the shower in preparation of some princess time.

"Well… we're dating." Byleth started, getting a look from the child. So she snatched the phone away. "Yes Manuela?"

A groan came through from the other end.

"I took Shamir and Catherine out for lunch…" the songstress explained, taking a deep breath. "But right now there sword fighting in the parking lot of Dinny's."

Byleth pulled the phone away from her ear and took a deep breath. Of course they were. They couldn't just stick to cuddling and maybe a little hand holding.

"I'm on my way." she answered and pulled the phone back. Judging by the grunt on the other end, Manuela had gotten the message and hung up. The phone is then set back down, attached back to it's charger.

"You still shouldn't be that direct though." Sothis countered, watching Byleth make a beeline back to the shower. After washing out her hair and getting any remaining soap out, the professor got back into her armor and returned to her 'lone child'. So much for getting a little princess time on the weekend.

"I know..." she started, taking the time to slip her phone in. A couple child leashes and collars were shoved into her purse, which was slung over her shoulder. "In between having to make sure Bernadetta doesn't have a 'housewife' moment and keeping Linhardt in class, I tend to forgot that I'm their teacher at times."

Sothis shot her a look.

"You need to do better then. Separate your personal life from your school life."

To some extent, the supposed goddess had a point. Said point was not a pill that Byleth wanted to really swallow. There was no personal life before this point. Now she was needing to juggle two different yet equal responsibilities - that of a mercenary and that of a teacher. A juggling act of both emotions and feelings, both of which Byleth was a stranger too. She was getting better, sure. But that didn't change the mistakes that were made on the way. Kind of a learning process to an extent.

The pair make their way towards the door. As tempting as it would be to just phase on through, Byleth just headed through like a normal person. She made sure to lock up. Don't want any wannabe thieves to try and break in. But they would just use their magic touch abilities then. Kind of a moot point. Nonetheless, the pair made their way from the academy and towards the town below.

"So why do we need child leashes and collars for them then?"

Byleth sighed. How exactly does one explain the concept of fetish-based play to a possibly millennia old goddess who dressed like they were a wannabe exotic hooker.

"Shamir and Catherine have a special sort of game they sometimes play with Rhea. Part of which requires leashes and collars."

Sothis shot her a look, confused by the professor's explanation. That hadn't been her intention, but that's how things work out at times.

"What sort of game is that?"

.

"Hah!"

Metal met metal as the latest round of this competition ended in what seemed like the umpteenth stalemate for Shamir and Catherine. While sure, having a sword fight in the parking lot of your local Dinny's was by no means the safest place to have one. Though, having a sword fight without any protection was up there on the list of bad, questionable decisions.

"I'll get you this time!" Catherine screeched, pulling her steel blade back. Why Thunderbrand was a far better option, she didn't want to electrocute her girlfriend. "What would Rhea think if she found out that you were fighting me in a parking lot?"

The third word to slip out from the bodyguard's mouth was the one to set off her companion. In a way, that was what this whole stupid fight was about.

"'Hic', it's always her that's on your mind." Shamir muttered, pulling her sword back. While no bow, she was managing quite well. Even if there has been at least one attempt at firing an arrow off. "It's never us, or perhaps even… me."

Part of her wanted to jam this blade into her girlfriend's skull and find the part of her brain that was so blindly loyal to Rhea. Remove that and then patch her up. Of course, she would never really go through with that. But if she didn't somehow rein her partner in, there was no telling what lengths she would go in her loyal to that woman. Made her kind of jealous too. Feelings held within, trumped by duty. Or in other words, a pseudo love triangle of sorts. But something has to give eventually. While it could be her, she hoped for it to not be.

Of course, Manuela sat comfortably on the sidelines. She was drinking from her flask, possibly an attempt at ridding herself of bad memories of whatever man she tried to sleep with. They had both suggested she try a girl at this point. Manuela was insistent that she was one, straight and that two, had absolutely no interest in girls. Okay, if the right one was somehow found for her.

Back to the sword fight, both opponents appear to be getting ready for their next strike.

"Ha!"

Catherine was the first to strike. Shamir blocked as best as she could manage, even if it was becoming quite clear that she was outmatched at the moment. Stalling for time, the mercenary ducked. While the sword managed to pass by her without injury, her heart was racing.

"'Hic', here goes nothing."

Now it was her turn. Pulling the sword back, Shamir put all of her strength into this one blow. The flat side of the blade slammed into Catherine's body, knocking her to the ground on top of breaking said sword. In that moment, the hiccups vanished and the mercenary realized what she had just done.

"Catherine, are you alright?!" Shamir screamed, shaking her girlfriend back and forth. Judging by the slight pinch Shamir got, the bodyguard was alright. Thankfully.

Even better, Byleth and Sothis were now on the scene. Child leashes and collars in hand, they made quick work in getting the pair leashed up.

"Boo. you didn't even bring our headbands." Catherine muttered, getting a slight slap from Shamir. More playful than menacing this time around. Though, that was the least of the pair worries at the moment. No, they were more focused on Manuela at the moment. The songstress had found herself drinking a bit more from her flask, which was promptly taken away.

"Give that back."

Byleth rolled her eyes. She had hoped to find the teacher in a slightly less inebriated state, but that was sadly not the case. If anything, Manuela needed better coping methods.

"Not until you find a better way to cope that isn't drinking." the professor muttered, catching a look from Sothis. "What?"

All Byleth got was a shrug. It worked for the moment. Especially since she needed to go check on Dorothea as well on the way back.

"Let's go you two." she continued, getting a nod from both women as they headed off.

* * *

Notes:

And now the third and final out of order entry in this AU.

Next Time: Bernadetta makes some soup, even if a certain family member tries to stop her. Kinda.


	7. Skirting the Issue

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: In which Hubert does his job and reminds a certain someone that actions have consequences. Also, we're out on the town again! Yay.

* * *

**Log 34: Skirting the Issue**

Hubert usually liked his job.

Normally, it means getting to sneak about places getting valuable information for the greater good of the adrestian empire. This was not one of those sorts of missions.

With Edelgard almost recovered for the moment, Caspar had taken this as his chance to drag Linhardt off to have a whole bunch of fun. Which meant he had to go and grab them. But not before sneaking a peek for their next mission. Sure, this wasn't the strategy he would've gone with. But who was he to argue with the most powerful woman in all of Fodlan?

Though, this did give him a chance to pick up the latest stuffed bear from Teddy Workshop - this one a succubus dressed... drumroll please.

Our drum roll comes courtesy of Nyx, who's currently recovering from the hellscape that is Bernadetta's mess. If anything, makes one wonder if that fuckhead is playing some long con in trying to sabotage his own country's army because he doesn't want something to happen. Wouldn't really surprise me. Oh right. The bear.

They were dressed modestly. But that just brings up a new question. Seriously, why the fuck do we live in an age where everything is within our fingertips, but all the succubi still have to look like they're wannabe pornstars? If anything, you should see far more variations in the designs of those creatures. But you would be wrong, especially with all the porn you can binge without much thought. Sorry. My wife pointed that out to me and I couldn't get it out of my head.

"Ahem." the dark mage announced, tapping his two targets. Currently at a McDonnies, they were munching down on some hamburgers and fries. Well, Caspar was. Linhardt was asleep. As usual. "I don't think Edelgard or the professor wouldn't be too happy to see you two slacking off like this."

Caspar chuckled and gave Linhardt a tap. The scholar sprung to life, focus split between his boyfriend and Hubert for the moment.

"Yes?" he greeted, glare just registering to him at the moment. "Wait. Where am I?"

Dang Caspar. Not only did you drag your friend off, you didn't even tell him where you were going. That's not very nice.

"McDonnies, Linhardt." Caspar explained, shoving a burger in the scholar's direction. Grabbing hold, he made short yet elegant work on the meal. Then we're back over to Hubert. "Someone's being a buz-"

Hubert's hands slammed into the table. Every part of him just wanted to grab hold of his classmate's neck and squeeze till all the air left his stupid body. The next coming months could make or break all of Fodlan. Why couldn't this idiot get that? What part of this made zero sense to Caspar.

"I am not a buzzkill." the dark mage muttered, watching his teammate's gazes return to his face. A sigh followed. Oh boy. Someone has some baggage. Kind of like that one girl. "I just want you two to understand that your training needs to come first. These moments might be fun and all, but things aren't going to stay like that."

Hubert let his focus turn to the bear at his side. If he could make the call, none of this would need to happen. But he wasn't the one who could do that. The only one he could control was himself. Suggestions could be made to others, but that was it.

"You're coming with me to grab some things for our next mission." the dark mage continued, grabbing what appeared to be the fries. He had better, but they were more than enough to get his energy back. "Then it's back to Gareg Mach. Is that clear?"

Both boys nodded, getting up from their table and headed for the exit. Hubert followed right behind. He did make sure to grab their trash and shove it in a garbage bin.

"Where are we going first?" Caspar called out, getting a chuckle. Even more so when he found Hubert at the door. Either he's slow or Hubert can teleport. I'm not sure which.

"A costume shop." Hubert answered,en door now open for the moment. The pair head on through, making a break for it the moment they crossed over. Or tried too. Kind of hard to run when you're dragging a tall person. "Don't make me bring our the child leashes."

Caspar stopped, letting his 'guardian' follow right behind. Which makes this a perfect opportunity to take in this particular part of town. Everything looks pretty well-built, with little in the way of less savory aspects. Like seriously, the last time Nyx and I were in the capital city of Nohr, a wyvern tried to sell us it's own tail. Said tail was still attached to its body. It claimed otherwise. Then my wife (bless her heart), blasted the tail off and then tried to pull a five-digit discount. That did not go over well with the local authorities. Had to be bailed by that pile of dung - Azama. Seriously, how the heck is he a retainer? Sure, Setsuna is an airheaded bimbo at both the best and worst times for Hinoka. But put a bow in her hands and she'll get the job done. Eventually.

Our trio made a left, coming upon the titular costume shop.

"So… what are we getting here?" Linhardt chimed, watching Hubert do his best evil laugh. "Or do we not want to know?"

A head shake. If I were them, I guess I would be scared? Though, I don't really mind this whole 'dress-up' stuff. Nyx is an absolute nightmare to get into anything other than her usual clothes. What? I had to have Oboro hold you down in order to get your maid dress on for Forrest's party. Sorry. I got quite a bit off-topic there.

Throwing caution to the wind, Caspar pulled the door of the shop open, watch Linhardt and Hubert step on in. Compared to the plain exterior, the interior was filled to the brim with all sorts of skirts and frocks hanging on plain metal racks.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Caspar continued, the smile on Hubert's face now even wider. He and Linhardt had walked right into that one.

"It is." Hubert explained, gaze split between his two colleagues. "You created quite a problem last week, jumping the gun and stealing Mercedes's car. Which isn't even going into trying to sell off the heir of the Leicester Alliance. Do you realize what could happen if they found out?"

Caspar gulped. It was pretty clear what the answer was for the moment. Not that it mattered for the moment.

"War?" he muttered and silence fell over the shop. Hubert took a step over, hand to his ear. Guess someone wants a much clearer answer. "War with the alliance!"

"Much better." Hubert answered, heading up to the counter. "Here's the list of sizes. I would like a black maid dress in my size,"

The shopkeeper nodded, gaze on Linhardt and Caspar for the moment. Mostly because they were trying to hide

"Green and Blue for them. The rest of the colors are listed on the sheet." Hubert continued, taking a deep breath. "Yes, I'm aware that some of those are written are male sizes. Our teacher's boss is an asshole."

Nonetheless, the shopkeeper nodded. Heading to the back, they eventually return with the dresses - ten in , they do hand off the black one to our titular dark mage. Which in turn, means a trip to the dressing room. All while his two companions went up to grab their maid dresses. Victorian-style, with thick boots in place of the stereotypical heels. Just in case things went south and they actually had to fight in these costumes.

"Not bad." he thought, digging his phone and plush out. Sure, Ferdinand was going to see this eventually. But a little sneak peek couldn't hurt.

_Hubert von Vestra logged in. _

_Hubert von Vestera: Ferdinand, you there? _

_I am Ferdinand logged in. _

_I am Ferdinand: Yes Hubert? _

_Hubert von Vestra posted a picture. _

_I am Ferdinand: Oh my. Let me guess. A hint to our next mission? _

_Hubert von Vestra: Maybe. You'll be wearing one soon enough. _

_I am Ferdinand: Oh. I'll take your word for it. _

_I am Ferdinand logged out. _

_Hubert Von Vestra logged out. _

While Ferdinand hadn't noticed the plush. Hubert was fine with that. Just a little surprise for when he got back. Which made the possible surprise even more delectable when he eventually saw it. Nonetheless, he made his exit back into the main part of the shop. Thankfully, both Caspar and Linhardt had decided to stay around for once,

"Ready to go?" Hubert inquired, getting a nod from his two companions. Picking up the rest of the maid's dresses, he heads to the door. His companions follow right behind.

* * *

Notes:

If we're going to do a maid's cafe, we're going to need maid costumes for everyone. Yes, even the boys.

.

Next Time: Byleth has a relaxing day off.


	8. The girl with brown hair

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: Edelgard tells her story.

* * *

**Log 35: The girl with brown hair**

"Professor?"

Byleth took a deep breath. Of course the one time she was engaging in her little hobby was the time someone wanted to speak to her about something. Just had to be.

"Coming!" she announced, scrambling over to the door. In retrospect, answering in your secret princess dress was not the best idea. But it was too late now for Byleth. Maybe if you're lucky, we can prevent any time paradoxes. Hopefully. "Yes?"

Edelgard's gaze focused on the dress. While her image of her teacher was that of a hardened mercenary and not, I don't know a wannabe princess. Yeah. That. But considering that this is a Sunday of all days, a bit less of a blow. She is sounding better, which is always a plus.

"Uh… please don't tell Dorothea about this." Byleth remarked, Edelgard strolling on in. Then our professor off to the bathroom to get changed once again. This was just the worse.

Okay, that's probably an overstatement here. I can think of tons of things that are most definitely far worse than that. Our first date resulted in me accidentally setting the whole restaurant on fire. We were not allowed back. The food was shit anyway. What? That was also where you got that bout of food poisoning!

Exiting the bathroom in her usual attire, Byleth made a beeline for the living room. There we find Edelgard casually waiting for her teacher. No sign of Sothis though. Probably in her room, playing on the 3DS.

"I won't tell her, professor." Edelgard answered, her host taking a seat for the moment. "Though, I'm could you inform me on what our next mission is? Hubert said it had something to do with maids, but I wanted to make sure."

Byleth's face turned cherry red, her gaze swiveling off the house leader for the moment. While she didn't know exactly how Hubert had found that part out, the professor knew she was going to need to have a talk with him.

"That is correct." Byleth continued, gaze back on Edelgard. "Rhea wants us to take Catherine and have a maid cafe at a protest that's being held by Lord Lonato."

Judging by the double take she was getting from the house leader for the moment, this was not the words she was expecting to come on out.

"So she wants us to deal with her problems." Edelgard muttered, gaze on the floor right now. "Typical of the church."

Byleth looked over to her, unsure on how to react. You would think Bernadetta would've prepared him for stuff like this. Guess not.

"I'm guessing something happened?" she inquired, a deep breath from Edelgard following that.

"You could say that." the house leader answered. "This mess started when I was younger…."

?, 1175

A girl with brown hair is afraid.

She's trapped in an unknown place, with strange people in bizarre outfits. None of seems to make sense. The rest of her family? Seperated. Their fates probably pretty clear on this end.

"Come over here." a voice announces, the girl searching for some place to hide. But in this gray monotone hellscape, there's nowhere to hide. So she just stands there, waiting for this unknown person to show themselves. "Good girl."

Grabbing hold of the girl's hand, they lead her back down the hall. All while those who were once human stared in. Their bodies could not take the stress within, twisting them into these 'things'. For lack of a better word. The girl pitied these beasts. It wasn't their fault that they ended up this way. No, they were victims of a destiny that not even she would wish on her own worst enemies. Especially those whose bodies betrayed their own age.

"Maybe you'll get lucky." the man remarks, chuckle following his statement. The girl just wants to hurt him. Maybe then he'll shut his mouth. She doubts it though. Probably kill her. But as the hallway empties out into the room ahead, those thoughts fade from her head. Right now, she needs to steal her resolve and will to live.

"Your turn, dear." a woman explains, the girl getting strapped into what looks to be a chair. Needles pierce through her skin across the body, red liquid getting pumped into her body. She's a child for fuck sake. What makes them think that this is somehow the right thing to do? If anything, whatever benefits they might get out of this can't outweigh the costs and lives cut short. You would have to be dumb as Peri to do something like that.

The girl's hair begins to grow lighter in color, going from brown to blonde to white in a matter of seconds. She's crying, the pain coursing through her body. But those were celebrating of all things. For fuck sake, you're absolute monsters. Was it enough to mess with nature but to defy it? I HOPE YOU ALL ROT IN HE-

Mozu here. Nyx needed a moment. Again. I don't really blame her here. The process is done now, the damage done to this girl. But she's alive. Which I guess counts for something as we return to reality. Where we currently find Byleth hugging her student.

"Hey. It'll be alright." the professor cooed, feeling Edelgard break out of her affection for the moment. "We're all there here for you."

Breaking away, Edelgard looked away from her teacher at the moment. Yes, she may have let a part or two of the story out for the moment. That could come later when she was truly certain Byleth was on her side.

"Thanks for the reminder." she whispered, getting up from her seat. "Now if you excuse me, I have some important business to de-"

A folder found its way into Edelgard's hands. Guess not even the house leader can get out of her school work.

"These are next week assignments." Byleth explained, only to have this most wonderful gift handed back to her. "I'm going to take it you're feeling better?"

A nod, followed by Edelgard making her move to leave.

"Yeah." Edelgard answered, pushing the door open. "Do have a good rest of your day."

Byleth nodded, watching her student make their exit. She was going to head back to the bathroom, but the ringing of her cellphone cut that desire off. Pulling it out, she did a double take.

Future Wife

Speak of the devil. I guess.

* * *

Notes:

Not much to say, really.

Next time: Dorothea tries to get Byleth to put on some pants.


	9. Shop till you drop 1: Acceptance

I don't own Fire Emblem.

Summary: In which we spend the rest of our free time for this 'week' with Byleth going shopping. Because you know what? Some fluff ain't going to kill us now.

Hopefully.

* * *

**Log 36: Shop till you drop 1: Acceptance**

After the hellscape that was Edelgard's backstory (like seriously, what the heck makes people think they can just play god all willy-nilly?), the ringing of Byleth's cell phone was almost a welcome sound for both of us. Still should probably change that nickname. Not the most appropriate one. Maybe something like 'opera gal'? That could work.

"Yes?" she greeted, getting a chuckle from Jeralt of all people. Huh… I guess someone decided to meet the folks. "Dad?"

Another chuckle, this time from Dorothea. Good. This isn't one of those prank calls. Absolutely suck if it somehow was to an extent. No one ever likes those. Not even Arthur. Dude is pretty chill on everything else. But when those fuckers calls, he declares righteous vengeance. Then proceeds to trip over a cord. It's kind of impressive, if it weren't so sad.

"Want to go shopping?" Dorothea inquired, silence falling over the professor. Eventually, a meek 'yes' echoed out from the other end. "Wonderful! I'll be there in a couple minutes!"

Hanging up, Byleth took a deep breath. Only to then realize what she had just agreed to. Bit late to back out now. Nonetheless, she made a beeline towards her bedroom. Here we find a lounging Sothis, just about ready to throw the 3DS into a wall. Don't do that. Nintendo stuff may be tough, but it's not invincible.

"Something wrong?" Byleth inquired, a look being her child's response. So carefully, she took the offending device away.

"Mrgrgrgr…" Sothis growled, glaring towards her guardian. "Give it back."

Byleth rolled her eyes, 3DS not being returned for the moment. I'm not entirely sure why Sothis would think she would just hand it back to her. Especially without knowing what made her frustrated in the first place.

"Not until you tell me why you're so pissed." the professor explained, watching her child look away. So she walked over to that particular part of the room. "If you don't, I'll take you shopping."  
Sothis's gaze fell to the bed. Mutterings of something followed right after. Not that Mozu or I could actually hear what she's saying. So Byleth sat down beside her.

"Everytime I try to beat Victor and Victoria, I lose." Sothis muttered, feeling a hand pat her back. "What?"

Byleth took a deep breath.

"No matter what you do, you can't win that fight."

The words roll right on out, a reminder of life's futility at times. You can try to fight that force, but you'll never win that battle. Eventually, you'll have to accept that it's only inevitable.

"So Olivia dies every time?" Sothis remarked, vision flooded with images once more. She's napping, then a man walks in. Sword piercing into her stomach, it's over in an instant. The last thing she hears is him laughing as he picks her up. It hurts. It hurts. But it won't stop. It just loops on and on, refusing to let go.

"Sothis?" Byleth remarked, Sothis's gaze snapping back over to her. "To answer your question, there's nothing you can do except fight onward."

Sothis nodded, finding the 3DS back in her hands. Byleth sat back up and headed for the door. If she was lucky, Dorothea and Jeralt would be right outside. So you can imagine her surprise when she found Sothis standing with her.

"Good. I guess I can get you some actual clothes." Byleth remarked, Sothis shooting her a look. Byleth does have a point though. That outfit may work in the warmer months, but it's quite cold at the moment. Even if doesn't seem that it would be that way in the first place. That and it would make you look less like some strange preteen bum. Which I don't think anyone wants that. Though, I can't think of any reasons for one to want that.

Thankfully, a knock on the door brought an end to this awkward moment. Byleth pulled the door open, finding Jeralt and Dorothea on the other side.

"Hi dad." Byleth greeted, taking a deep breath. Sure, the topic of dating had never come up before. Let alone dating another girl. "Yes, she's my girlfriend."

Jeralt's gaze shifted to his daughter.

"Congrats." he answered, putting his hand on Byleth's shoulder. "You found someone who thinks the same of you. You're moving up in the world."

Byleth's face glowed pink, even more so as the drones picked them up for the trip to the entrance. Then's it's off to the shopping mall.


	10. Shop till you drop 2: Taking a walk

I don't own Fire Emblem.

Summary: We have some talking and reach the mall.

* * *

**Log 37: Shop till you drop 2: Taking a walk**

"Any stores that you want to start out with?" Dorothea inquired, watching Byleth's gaze return to her. The transition from Gareg Mach to the town below was quite gentle as hills go, providing a perfect opportunity for small talk and conversations.

"Uh…" Byleth started, looking around for something to give her an idea. Hubert had already grabbed the costumes for their next mission. Which probably included the shoes and accessories. What else could she need right now? "Probably should swing by the book store for some psychology and therapy books."

Dorothea looked over to her girlfriend, gaze shifting to the legs. Day after day, always the same stockings.

"I was thinking more along the line of clothing stores - maybe to get you some pants."

Byleth looked over to her father. Glad as she was of his acceptance of her choice, the question of attire was something that could go any which way.

"She does have a point, kid." Jeralt remarked and got a look in return. "Though, at least you make an effort to dress like an actual person, unlike a certain child here."

Both Byleth and Dorothea's gaze turned to Sothis. While not knee-deep in her 3DS, I can see where he's coming from. I'm just going to ignore the look I'm getting from my wife for the moment. When your age sits in the couple of hundreds, you quickly learn what flies as normal to most people. Though, I could show you the outfits that flew as normal back then.

"Mgrgrgr... You probably thought of wearing this at some point because of me." Sothis countered, Dorothea's face turning crimson of all colors for the moment. Uh… that's not an image that I needed in my head for the moment. Mozu, slap it out of me. Ow. I didn't mean that literally!

"Do I look bad in it?" Byleth inquired, Dorothea shaking her head at the moment. Though, I do thing she noticed the professor's rosy red cheeks.

The outskirts of the city came into view, bringing with it actual proper sidewalks and streets. And you know, buildings. Though, you can sort of see the mall.

"Any that you need, dad?"

Jeralt held a finger to his chin, only for that to turn into a quick look behind himself. Wonder what that's about. Sure, we haven't really seen much of him since we've gotten to Gareg Mach. Sure, he's around and all, but what does Rhea have him doing?

"I've got nothing." he remarked, Dorothea's gaze on him. "Is there something that you would like to ask me?"

The opera singer took a deep breath. As rude as it might be to pry, this was kind of like a date, right? Getting to know the person you care is just a normal part of the process.

"So where have you been in Fodlan, Byleth?" she inquired, the professor looking away. Huh… You would think that such a question would at least register some sort of response.

"Uh…" Byleth muttered, closing her eyes of all actions. The professor was certain that she and her father had traveled in the past. But try as she might, nothing came to her head.

"I can't really think of any place in particular."

Jeralt took a deep breath, looking off to the side. Then he's over to Dorothea. Oh my, this is going to be

"She's always been like this." Jeralt remarked, getting a look from her own daughter. Dude, that's not the sort of thing you discuss with your daughter's date. At all. Especially if you want her to get you anything from this mall place. Especially since you're all the way there. "If anything, Gareg Mach has done some good for her."

Byleth looked away, grabbing hold of Sothis's hand. Pushing the door open, she watches the trio pass on through. Then it's her turn.

Inside, it looks like a mall. You know, those places people would go to in the hopes of getting everything they needed except groceries or a car. Not entirely sure why no one thought of that. Oh, Mozu tells me that's what grocery stores and car dealerships are for. True, but I do think that those are perfect fits for these abandoned places.

"Ravine should be around here som-." Dorothea started, only to find herself having to grab hold of Sothis. Mostly so she couldn't pull her girlfriend away. "Was there something in particular you wanted, Sothis?"

Sothis pointed to the nearby TB Games. There, a large cardboard cutout for something called Bravely Default II stood. Though, it's coming for something called... the Nintendo Switch.

"Please?"

Byleth took a deep breath, turning to her child.

"No more throwing swords at people." the professor barked, only for Dorothea to pull out her wallet.

"I can pay." she explained, heading into the store.

* * *

Notes:

TB games is a play on EB Games.


	11. Shop till you drop 3: Wearing a pair

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: Byleth tries a pair.

* * *

**Log 38: Shop till you drop 3: Wearing a pair**

Inside, the TB Games was what you expected out of a game store. Gray carpet floors with wall covered in a mix of games, collectibles and other miscellaneous stuff relating to pop culture. All of which compressed into a small box of a room. That's not counting the back area of course.

"How may I help you?" the clerk asked, Dorothea pointing over to the Nintendo Switch. "That'll be 279 gold."

Opening her purse up, the required gold getting set down on the counter. The clerk turned around and headed for the back room. So the opera singer began looking around. More specifically, the section for Switch games.

"Sothis, any game in particular that you want with your Switch?" Dorothea called out, watching the child let go of Byleth's hand and head over to her. All while Byleth and Jeralt watched on. Probably just surprised by the iniative being taken by the opera singer at the moment.

"What are my options?" Sothis remarked, led over to the small corner of the room that housed those particular games. You know, like that other chain of game stores. Not going to name them or anything. "Oh. So only one, right?"

Dorothea nodded, gaze shifting away from Sothis and back to Byleth for the moment.

"Uh… do you want any games?" she called out, her girlfriend shaking their head. Fair enough. Not everyone is going to be into that stuff. "Okay."

So the opera singer returned her gaze to Sothis. Having successfully narrowed her choices it looks to be either a horse racing game or something called Water Crest: Three Schools. Okay, I think that's a bit on the nose. But in regards to what exactly, I'm not sure.

"Uh... Sothis?" Dorothea remarked, her gaze on the second option. Byleth hadn't said how old Sothis was in the first place, but should she really be playing something rated for 12+? "Just how old are you?"

Sothis's gaze shot away from her friend, fixating instead on the ground. She was certain that it had to be hundreds, if not thousands of years old. Even if that's somehow the case, she doubted that Dorothea would take it as fact. She probably would dismiss it. So the child went with the next best thing.

"Uh… 13!" Sothis blurted out, Byleth already making her way over. This had definitely not gone to plan. If anything, she was about to be overruled. Though, I will give you points for trying the Loli angle. Even if that is absolutely degenerate most of the time that argument is used. Yes, I'm aware that's rich coming from me of all people. Believe me, I know.

"She's five, maybe six." Byleth explained, death glare for the moment going unnoticed. Easier that way. "Yet, Bravely Default is a T-rated game. She should be alright with Water Crest."

Turning her focus back towards her child, Byleth knelt on down.

"Would that work with you, Sothis?" she remarked, getting a nod in return. Thankfully, this was when the clerk returned with our game console. Though, it was our professor who would be paying for our game. Bagging up our sale, it's time to head on to this 'Ravine' store. Not the name I would've gone with. Maybe something like 'hole' or even… Gap. Actually, no that sounds stupid. Whatever the case, our heroes find their way to the front of Ravine. Which is located right across from a nice little sweet shop. Wait. I think I saw Manuela doing… something. Doesn't really matter right now. She's sober, which means the chance of something dumb happening is really low. Right? Unless there's a hangover involved. Then bad decisions are bound to be made. That's beyond the point at the moment.

"We're going to head for the pants section." Dorothea explained, getting a nod from Jeralt. Followed by more silence. Then it's off to the sweet shop. Huh… Was not expecting that to happen. Oh well. This should make this part a cinch. Right? Especially the part where we go to the pants.

"Dorothea, why do you want me to try on a pair of pants?" Byleth remarked, Dorothea's gaze right on her legs at the moment.

"Because I thought you would look nice in a pair or two." the opera singer remarked. Which is great and all, except for the fact that her face was as red as cherries currently. Mozu, do we have any at the moment? If we do, I'll take a bowl of them. Please? Thank you.

"Okay…" Byleth answered and watched Dorothea grab a pair of jeans of a rack. Then a pair of much plain pants. Handing them both over to her, a short trip to a dressing room followed. "Which one do you want me to try on first?"

The professor watched her student/girlfriend point towards the regular pants. She had kind of expected Dorothea to choose the jeans first. Giving a nod, it was time to try these garments on. Inside, the dressing was a plain white room with a floor that's just as plain. At least you get a seat to set things on. Nonetheless, Byleth slipped her stockings off and let the pants take their place. Huh. This isn't quite what I expected to see today. Though, at least I now have some cherries to munch down. So it all evens out.

"What do you think?" Byleth remarked, making her exit back into the store proper. Dorothea's gaze was already on her legs, though her expression wasn't quite what the professor was expecting right now.

"Those look alright on you." Dorothea remarked, focusing shifting away from the legs at the moment. "Maybe try the jeans now?"

Watching Byleth return to the dressing room, she took a deep breath. Maybe this would somehow be better than the generic pair of pants. If not, then it's back to stockings for Byleth. Least she could do was put on a pair that weren't mangled in a gazillion places.

"How do I look?"

The nosebleed that followed was very, very, juvenile. Not that the opera singer really cared.

"We'll take them."

* * *

Next time: People trying on maid dresses


	12. Eye of the Storm 1: What aa Mess

I ddson't own fire eeemblem.

Summary: Ourheroes get ready for their maid cafe, but someone decides to come a little early.

Also, Count Varley decides that he's going to come to Gareg Mach. Because of course he is.

* * *

**Log 39: Eye of the Storm 1 - What aa mess**

A new day. After what happened last time I can only ho-

'Hi-yah!"

Byleth's eyes shot open. Normally, she wasn't one to wake up this early. Especially after that chaotic free time she had yesterday. But it was the sound of someone smashing through her door at the moment that woke the professor up. Not even taking the time to check the clock (it's 2:30 am on both her and my end), she scrambled on over to the living. The recently bought Switch not put in yet, but we do find Catherine of all people standing there. No thunderbrand, but that might be to not ruin her prized blade. Though, the choice of thunderbolt printed pajamas is a nice touch. Bedhead, not so much. Doubt our professor here has a hairbrush to fix it. Even if she did at the moment, there's a large hole where a front door should be. As for the door itself, that would be lying on the floor in a million pieces. Wonderful. Mercedes just had that replaced. At least let it last longer than a week. Okay, a week and change. But the point still stands, damn it. Hopefully whatever door replaces this one is a heck of a lot stronger.

"Catherine, what are you doing in my apartment at this ungodly hour?" Byleth screeched, their intruder just giving a shrug. Wrong answer.

"Rhea told me to come here first thing in the morning." she remarked, whatever reason she was about to give better be flipping amazing. Especially since I also have to be up at this stupidly early hour. Maybe some of us enjoy being their partner's teddy bear. It's kind of like the whole wolfskin and kitsune transformation stone things. Except a lot more comfy and stuff. Probably what Keaton does. When he isn't wearing that stupid batman mask. Yes, it was funny the first couple times. Now it isn't. "So here I am."

Byleth took a deep breath. Part of her wanted to just fling Catherine out, but she got the feeling that wouldn't be well liked. For the moment, it was as perfect of a time as any to just take a seat.

"I'm going to need you to wait till everyone else shows up."

As it would turn, that would be another four, agonizing hours. Four hours where I had to sit on this stupid couch - awake, no less. I can't really do anything for fear of waking up my absolute sweetpea of a wife. Time seems to laugh at me for the moment. I don't really care, just move faster for the moment! At least for me. Mozu deserves her sleep.

Eventually, Hubert of all people approached the now open doorway. Though, he looks to be pulling one of those long clothing racks with wheels. No sign of Ferdinand for the moment. Guess we didn't have a sleepover this time around.

"Here are the maid costumes." the dark mage muttered, giving the currently broken door little attention. No, his focus was more on Byleth for the moment. "Is there something you want to say to me?"

Byleth stood up, deep breath coming right after.

"So Hubert, by any chance did you sneak a look at the mission briefing?" Byleth remarked, her 'opponent's' expression unchanged. Though, the look away from the professor at the last minute didn't do him any favors.

"Maybe." he muttered, gaze shifting over to Catherine right now. "Now, what's she doing here?"

Catherine just chuckled, looking right towards our dark mage for the moment. Please don't. There's already enough destruction in the door alone. Don't add onto it.

"Rhea instructed me to come here first thing in the morning." Catherine remarked, finding herself now facing down a stink eye of sorts from our dark mage. Fair enough? I would've gone with a death glare, but oh well. Though, Petra's arrival did force him to break it off for now.

"Am I bar- interrupting something right now?" the princess remarked, Byleth shaking her head for the moment.

"No." Byleth answered, focusing as best she could on her student. "How do you feel about maid outfits?"

Peta's gaze swung over to the costume rack. Taken by complete surprise, she's back on Byleth for the moment.

"Uh… They look nice at least. But I'm a vassal of Brigid." Petra remarked. "Do you realize how much disrespect you will inflict on me and my country?"

Byleth nodded. While she hadn't thought of that, I think I have an idea on what Rhea's intention is. Especially since this is an event that's bound to bring out the news outlets and in turn become a far larger shitshow for all our parties involved. Sure, the church would come out on top. But it would then look like the alliance just got attacked by the empire. Fuck. You've all been played.

"Do you have any other outfit that you can pass as 'maidlike'?" the professor remarked, Petra looking away for the moment. Which brought her right into Mercedes's crosshairs. "And no, you can't borrow one of Mercedes."

Mercedes shot her teacher a look. She's totally fucking valid here. I may or may not be liquoring up for this.

"Hold up." the dom remarked, not sure what to focus on more for the moment. The maid dresses, Catherine or Byleth."What this about asking me for an outfit?"

Byleth took a deep breath. Definitely shouldn't have said that. But how is one supposed to know a person is coming without a dooer. Door is integral. Especially now that Dorothea appears without it.

"Hey…" the opera singer announced, looking towards the shitstorm that's occuring right before her eyes. A deep breath followed. "So Maid Cafe?"

Byleth nodded. As proud as she was to keep that particular secret from her own students, Hubert had very much gave it away. Though, Dorothea might be one of the few to actually try on her maid outfit.

"There all your guy's sizes." Hubert remarked and pulled one off the rack - a bright red one. "Here you go."

Dorothea nodded and took her new outfit to the bathroom. This is going to be good. Especially now that Bernadetta has now arrived. No Eeedelgard though. Probably running late or grabbing Linhardt and Caspar. Maybe both.

"What's with the." Bernadetta muttered, gaze already on the maid dresses for the moment. "Do you want me to have one of my moments?"

Byleth shook her head, not in the mood to bring any more mental grief. Though, I doubt she heard about the phone call, the drone heading right on through. Carrying a package frrom the looksie.

"No." Byleth answered, snagging the package from the drone. Then she's back on over to Bernadetta. "Is this yours?"

A nod, followed by the handing over of this unknown package. Taking a couple attempts to open, the archer pulled the contents out - a pair of dolls with an arrow ppierced through their stomach. A dick-shaped arrow. Guess we know who it came from.

I'm coming for you.

You better be a good housewife or else

"Miss Eisner, if my father truly believes that he can just take me away…" Bernadetta announced, clothes already beginning to come off. Shake that pretty ass! Shake it! "Now where's an apron I can wear for when Edelgard comes around. I'll be her proud, happy housewife."

Byleth grabbed hold of Bernadetta's hand. A slight squeeze followed. The shaking about stops and our archer focuses on the professor for the moment.

"Edelgard would prefer regular Bernadetta over housewife Bernadetta." Byleth answered, deep breath following the grabbing of a dark purple maid dress. Handing it to her student, Dorothea makes her return. All while Catherine munches down on an apple. Doesn't fucking matter where she got it. The retainer has it now.

"What do you think, Professor?" the opera singer remarked, witnessing the blushing cheeks of her girlfriend. A thumbs-up followed. Aww.

"So you're a maid now, Dorothea?" Petra remarked, Mercedes shaking her head. "Oh. You're dressing up as a maid then?"

Dorothea nodded aand watched Mercedes look over to her girlfriend.

"Are we certain you have anything that you can wear that's 'maidlike' or do I need to let you borrow one of my cleaner outfits?" the dom remarked, Petra looking away. Off the top of her head, she could only think of her rrgular schiopk unifron. How nice of Mercedes to offer one of hers.

.

Mozu ran down the hall. Normally, she wasn't one to run in her own home, but she had a feeling something was amiss. Thhere indeed was. Though, I was kind of hoping to get through all of this without her noticing. But the alchol is takigg a toll on me. Niot sureh ow much long r eally I'mm be able to do thais. Especially since the y still t4aren'y here. Wjy is this so hard, really? I've only td been up for 4 hours.

"Nyx dear, do you need me to narrate?" she asks and I just nod. Thank fuvk for my little sweetpea coming to the rescue. I just nod.


	13. Eye of the Storm 2: A safe place

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: We continue our maid cafe training and Catherine opens up to Byleth.

* * *

**Log 40: Eye of the Storm 2 - A safe place**

Now that I, (Mozu) is switching in for my dear wife, let this story continue on for the moment.

Currently, Bernadetta has returned from the bathroom. She looks absolutely divine in that uniform. Though, anything purple would look amazing on her.

"Is there one for me, Hubert?" Catherine remarked, just about ready to shove the core of her apple into that mouth of hers. You're really going to eat that? That's a good way to get an apple tree. Hey! Stop laughing. It happened! Once… So it's totally possible. I even have pictures. You really don't want to know why I do. It's better that way.

"I made sure to get a maid dress for everyone." the dark mage answered, pulling a maid dress off the rack. Quite a bit larger than the other outfits, there's only one person that it could fit. Handing it over to the retainer, his gaze shifted to Count Varley's warning. A sigh echoed out as he picked up the note and consumed it. "If he really wants to start a war between the empire and the church, we'll just put Bernadetta in charge of his department and territory."

Bernadetta did a double take, falling to the floor right after. The thought alone was just absurd. Her - Countess von Varley. The title had a nice ring to it. Which would be on top of the duties of her father's department and territory.

"I'll think about it…" she muttered, Edelgard making her entrance. Gazes meeting, the message comes on through crystal clear.

"So we're going to get sieged, wonderful." the house leader remarked, gaze on Bernadetta for the moment. "Though, you do look nice."

Bernadetta's cheek went pink, the archer searching for a place to hide. Doesn't really appear to be such a place for the moment. Even as Catherine makes her way back and what appears to be Mercedes and Petra head for Mercedes room. You would think they would listen at least to what Hubert says. Though, maybe our dom has something that could sort of represent Brigid customs. If not, you could always bling out the maid uniform.

Thankfully, our archer calmed down from her little freakout. For the moment at least, Bernadetta took a seat on the couch. Fair enough. Hopefully nothing bad happens (for the moment) and we can actually get to our mission briefing or something. Sorry. Just got up and need to make sure Nyx gets some actual sleep for the moment. A task that hasn't been so bad. Especially since she's turned herself in that wonderful plush form of her's. Really should get her to teach me that. Though, the last time she tried to teach me anything magic went very horribly wrong. So, maybe not.

"So we're doing a maid cafe, Professor?" Edelgard finally inquired, getting a nod from her teacher.

"We're going to set up at Lord Lonato's protest for some reason." Byleth continued, Edelgard trying her best to hold the laughter in. Fair enough. This whole thing sounds like a complete and utter shitshow. "Not sure why we couldn't go dressed as our usual selves?"

Edelgard took a deep breath. Of course a former mercenary would suggest something as dumb as that.

"Because that would cause more strife between the church, empire and kingdom." the house leader explained and pulled what I can only assume to be her maid uniform. Though, Catherine isn't quite back yet. Wonder what's taking her so long? It's just trying on a dress and headband. Maybe even a set of shoes. Noth-

'Crash'

That isn't good. Even more so now that Byleth was heading for the bathroom to make sure nothing had been broken. Though judging by the door now sporting at least one hole currently, that looks to be far from the case. Wonder who's going to pay for this. Catherine? Mercedes? Who can really say. Probably wait till the dust settles and things slow down to decide that.

"Catherine?" she called out, getting a look through the hole at the moment. While she looks to have gotten the uniform on, there looks to be some buttoning that's tripped her up. Dang those fine motor skills. "Do you need some help?"

A sigh, followed by the sound of the bathroom door unlocking. Considering you've put a hole through it for the moment, that's less than effective. Carefully, Byleth made her entrance.

"Thanks." Catherine muttered, feeling Byleth's arm brush against her back. "Normally, Shamir helps me get ready. But since she did something that pissed her off. Then she says that I belong to her alone."

Uh… that's not healthy. Like, you should probably find someone who cares about you who isn't controlling.

"Was Rhea… always like this?" the professor croaked out, unsure of how to feel about this. Pretty clear that this is an absolutely toxic situation that can easily spiral out of control. But was it really her place to intervene here?

"Maybe." Catherine muttered and gazed down to the floor. Tears look ready to fall down. Too late, they're cascading towards the floor. "I made some mistakes on the way, tried to clear them up. But in the end, sometimes it feels like I'm just an object."

.

A woman sits on her knees. It's quite late currently and her mistress has shown no signs of returning. If anything, the shouting down below has gotten louder. She would sleep, but her dreams are haunted by a former friend's face. A face that's ready to remind her of the crime that she helped allow to happen in the first place.

"Catherine, are you in there?" a voice calls out and the woman perks up. She heads for the door, pulling it open. There, another woman stands there - Shamir. Her clothes are ripped up with what looks to be splinters of wood sticking out. She's carrying a plate of food. Dinner, perhaps? "Good. You're alright."

The woman looks over to her companion, stomach rumbling. She had been late to breakfast and lunch hadn't even crossed her mind. Nonetheless, Shamir set the dish down. No real utensils, not that one would need those to eat a hamburger. Unless you're going for one of those bunless burgers or are eating it as a strange lettuce wrap. God forbid you do what Hisame did and pickle the damn thing. Not even Effie was able to eat that. It even smelled disgusting. But that's beyond the point. Mostly because the woman's mistress has decided now is as good of a time as any to make an appearance. Oh dear.

"What do you think you're doing, bitch?" 'mistress' announced, chair flying over both her subjects for the moment. Then it's right over to the plate. Picking it up, she consumes the burger in a single bite. How rude. At least leave a bite for the woman. She deserves it more than you ever do, bitch!

Oops. I woke Nyx up, My bad, dear. Go back to slumbering. As for Shamir, she decided to grab hold of the woman's hand and pulled her back. But that just gets her thrown out of the room by the mistress. But not before muttering something under her breath. Even then, the sound of breaking things echoes about. And this woman is the fucking pope of all people. No wonder things are such a mess. Okay, that's just part of that. We might never know the full story of that particular day.

Back in reality, Byleth took a deep breath. Part of her debated running this by Shamir first. But right now, she needed to play her part.

"If anything happens, my class is a safe place." Byleth remarked, watching Catherine's gaze return to her. Tears are still rolling down, but she feels slightly better now. "Feel free to stop by. Within reason, of course."

The retainer nodded, feeling the last of the buttons slide into place. A deep breath of relief followed.

"Thank you." she whispered, gaze on the hole she created mere moments ago. Making their exit, it was back to the living room. Where on top of finding Sothis trying to figure out how to put her switch in, we have the rest of the boys. Oh my.


	14. Eye of the Storm 3: Preparations

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: We finish up our training with the last of the stragglers and talk about the future in regards to Count Varley.

* * *

**Log 41: Eye of the Storm 3 - **Preparations

There was nothing that Caspar hated more than being woken up by someone else. Even if that someone else was Linhardt, the fighter was always in some kind of wonderful dream. Such as the dream he was in the middle of currently - being a retired warrior who had taken up farming and helped out orphans. That's quite a nice dream. Not much need for that, judging by the ability of most of Fodlan being able to feed themselves. Though it's not perfect. Look at Dorothea. The homeless still exist in places like Embarr. Hopefully they are able to find a place to stay in. But I digress. Mostly since someone was currently banging on his front door and weren't showing any signs of stopping.

"Caspar, you're needed for class!" a voice called out, Caspar rolling right out of bed. This looks to be a regular occurrence, since the area around the bed has a ring of padding surrounding it. Bit overkill if you ask me. But I sleep with a grabby teddy bear. What do I know?

As for the rest of the room, that had a bit of a pristine dare I even say... military feel. The walls are mostly plain, though someone has a set of Adrestian patches all framed up nicely off to the side. The floor surprisingly clean, with the padding being the only thing out of place.

"Coming!" he muttered and pulled himself off the floor. Not sure that sleeping in your own uniform is quite the best idea. Nyx did that back when we were with Corrin's army. Only when we were actually out in the field and were unable to wash clothes. Doesn't stop Caspar from beating out a couple wrinkles and heading to the bathroom of all places. Guess the door isn't that big of a deal, especially after getting woken up by said door. Priorities, I guess. Nonetheless, he takes the time to brush his teeth. Goes all the way with it. Even flosses and mouthwashes. Complete and utter overkill. Once he's done with that, now is the time to head to answer the door and that mysterious knocking sound. Pulling it open, we have Ferdinand of all people standing there.

"Ferdinand, what do you need?"

Ferdinand took a deep breath, fishing his phone out from his pants pocket. Turning it on, Caspar did a double take.

DukeAegir: Kid, get off your ass and go beat Count Varley with his own dick! I don't care what it takes, but just do it. Damn it!

Uh… I'm not sure his dick is long enough to do that. It's probably pretty tiny and withered from some kind of disease. Even then, I don't believe Count Varley has his dick at the moment.

"Anything else?" Caspar remarked and received a sigh in return. You would think he would already know the answer to that question. "Linhardt?"

Ferdinand nodded and watched his classmate walked over to a nearby door and pass on through. Okay, that massive cat flap is ridiculous and somehow… useful in this situation. Never thought I would ever say that. Well, write that. Especially as a less-than-thrilled Linhardt gets carried out of the room. Wait. That means at some point, Caspar broke down his door. Quite rude of him, at least pick the lock first.

"Caspar, what are you doing?" Linhardt muttered, looking about his immediate area. Much like his boyfriend, he too had gone asleep in his own clothes. Though, there seems to have been an attempt at showering in said clothes. Not the weirdest thing I've seen. For better or worse.

Thankfully, the actual flight to Byleth's apartment is quite quick. Which is probably for the best, considering that Caspar is still holding Linhardt for the moment. Stepping through, Byleth and Catherine were already standing there. Though, it would appear Edelgard had managed to sneak away and get her maid uniform on. Getting there, thank fuck.

"I'm guessing you need us to get changed?" Caspar remarked, getting a nod from the professor as he snatched two uniforms off of the rack. But not before setting down the scholar on the floor. This of all things was what woke Linhardt. Kind of impressive, even if he did stick the landing. A five. The chuckle from Hubert brought it down a point.

"Didn't we help you get these?" the scholar remarked and got a chuckle from the dark mage at the moment. Though, he did make sure to grab his and Ferdinand's uniforms. Then Linhardt and finally, Caspar.

"Can I trust you guys to not wake Sothis up?" Byleth remarked, only for the titular child to float on in. Show-off, especially with that movement towards the Switch. "Okay. Scratch that."

With that out of the way, our two couples made their way to the master bedroom. Of course, they made sure to lock the door. Don't want anyone to enter for the moment and come in on four guys partially nude.

"Hubert, do you know of any place that I can get a big fake dick?" Ferdinand inquired, our dark mage trying his hardest to hold his laughter in. Then he looked back over to his boyfriend.

"What color?" the dark mage remarked and got a sigh in return. "If this is about Count Varley, we know."

That's the big old homophobic elephant in the room. No good way to go about it. Sure, you can throw him in the catacombs, but eventually he's going to break out. Kill him and then you have the nightmare of a time trying to rein what I can only assume to be the capital of Homophobia and other wonderful anti-LGBTQ shit. Just fuck all of them and what they stand for. Period.

"I doubt either of my parents would really throw him a bone." Linhardt announced, somehow already in the uniform. Damn. "Especially with the phone call I had last night."

Hubert shot the scholar a look.

"Spill." the dark mage muttered, Caspar joining in on this glaring. Which kind of goes without saying, but okay.

"One of the maids castrated the Count." Linhardt explained, deep breath following that statement. "The crazy thing is, he was claiming his own daughter ordered the maid to castrate him."

The other boy's gazes shot over to him. That sentence couldn't possibly be true. There must have been some kind of mistake or perhaps shifting of blame (it's the former, I assure you). Even if there somehow wasn't, this situation could easily spiral out of control and possibly throw Fodlan into all out war.

Yet, Hubert took a deep breath. This was a massive gamble he was about take, one with a likely chance to blow up on both him and Edelgard in the long run. Yet, the dark mage let his gaze split between his classmates.

"No matter what happens, can you promise me that you'll support Lady Edelgard?" he announced, silence falling over the pretty small bedroom. Which was the perfect opportunity to slip into his maid uniform.

"I guess?" Caspar remarked, gaze snapping to Linhardt for the briefest of moments. Then it's right back to Hubert. "You're kind of putting us all on the spot."

"Caspar has a point." Ferdinand added, not even giving his boyfriend a chance to really respond to the fighter. "I understand that the emperor is nearing his last days but you aren't saying…"

Hubert looked away. While Ferdinand hadn't completely gotten his uniform on, there's was one or two buttons that looked to need buttoning. So the dark mage reached out to do just that.

"It's a possibility that we might need to start thinking about." he continued and slipped the button through. "Count Varley is just the tip of the iceberg and I'm just afraid of history repeating itself."

Before he had a chance to do the second button, Ferdinand put a hand on the dark mage's shoulder.

"Hey." Ferdinand remarked, Hubert focusing in on him for the moment. "No matter what happens, I'll be there for you. Through thick and thin, no matter the circumstances. Within reason, of course."

A nod, with our dark mage's gaze turning to Caspar and Linhardt. They both give a nod, the latter finally in his maid uniform.

"It's settled then." Caspar announced and unlocked the door. Heading back through, we find everyone have gathered. Though, that doesn't explain Petra's outfit. We've got ourselves a maroon tank top with a tribal skirt. Huh... Mercedes on the other hand, went for a cream colored maid uniform.

"Can I be the princess at least?" Petra inquired, getting a groan from her teacher. While not part of the plan, it couldn't hurt. Right?

"I guess." Byleth remarked and looked over her students and single faculty member. "Good work. As you can probably tell, we're doing a maid cafe because Rhea demands it."

Silence. I'm fairly certain that everyone put two and two together and got that.

"For the moment at least, Catherine might stop on by. She has my permission, as long as she doesn't break any more doors."

The retainer nodded and looked to the broken door. Yep, you did that.

"I will report Count Varley's threat to Rhea." she continued, gaze on both Byleth and Bernadetta. "I trust that you both want to deal with him personally?"

Bernadetta looked away. Please tell me we're not going to have a housewife moment.

Eventually, her gaze returned to Catherine.

"Yes Ms Catherine." she answered, "I wish to scold such a maid and put them in their place."

Edelgard did a double take. Guess it would seem the two parts want the same thing. At least for now.

* * *

Notes:

So yeah. This was quite fun to do. Even if did take three parts to cover

..

Next Time: Some parents get in on the action.


	15. Stacking the deck

I don't own Fire Emblem.

Summary: With war between Count Varley and Gareg Mach right on the horizon, the heads of Bergliez and Hevring Territories meet to settle some things. Of course, it falls to their wives to strike a blow. Maybe do some sequence breaking as well.

* * *

Log 42: Stacking the Deck

_Hevring Territory _

Mr Bergliez didn't consider himself that much of a patient man. Especially when it came to shit like this. While he made no promises to his wife, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt. Especially his look. Just a t-shirt and gym shorts. Screw suits in general. Nothing good ever happens in them. Ever. That's a fact. Okay, funerals. But that's a different story.

"You're late." the head of the Bergliez territory announced, his contact coming into view. Who chose poorly with that suit. Especially since it doesn't even fit him. You would think he would find one that would actually fit. Oh well. "Not that you were ever on time."

Mr Hevring just rolled his eyes. Any other day he might have appreciated the presence of Mr Bergliez. But this was not one of those days. Amid the rain in one of the Hevring Territory's many teahouses, drastic action needed to be taken. By drastic action, we mean making plans in the case of things that could possibly occur or who might be in charge of Varley territory.

"It was only a matter of time." he remarked, a waitress coming up to take their order. If nothing else, this felt like deja vu. Though with a lot less chairs thrown around. "Not to shift subjects, but did you ever reconcile with your son?"

Mr Bergliez looked away, muttering a threat of some kind under his breath. So what if he may have reacted a 'little' negatively to his kid coming out as a homosexual? It was a complete and utter surprise that he had no chance to prepare for. Of course his reaction would be over the top. Who wouldn't be? Okay, maybe some red flags had been missed in hindsight. But that's beyond the point. Especially for this meeting.

"Why do you even care?" he announced, gaze right on his 'host'. That was the problem with Mr Hevring. Always dwelling in the past. Never looking towards the future. Maybe that was how they ended up in situations such as this. "You were no bett-"

A look brought his statement to a stop. Damn that height difference to heck. Once, he would like an argument to not be cut off by this. Just once. But that was probably asking too much.

"You flung a table at your own child and his boyfriend." Mr Hevring remarked, scooping up the silverware from Mr Bergliez's side. Just in case. "If nothing else, I should've sued the pants off of you for that."

A deep breath, followed by a grab for said utensils. Mr Bergliez was unsuccessful in that regard. Even if he somehow was, then what? There were far better options of force. Sort of like the axe sitting beside his chair. Or even the chair he was sitting on for the moment. Not that I would ever recommend that sort of tactics in this situation.

"I just need you to promise that you won't side with Varley in his stupid war of his." Mr Hevring remarked, the waitress tapping her hand against the table. Don't really blame her. So our gracious host focused in on her. "I'll take a tea - earl gray, while my friend will take a coffee. Black."

The waitress nodded, heading off to get to the two men's choice of drinks. So their gazes returned to each other.

"I could've ordered myself." Mr Bergliez muttered and watched his friend roll his eyes. "You've always been like this! Even in school!"

That remark got him an eye roll. As low blows go, that was as low as they went.

"Speaking of which, your wife called me."

Silence fell over the table. That was not the sort of thing that you expect to be coming out of your co-worker/official mouth. Especially in quite a public space. The only thing worse would be admitting to your mom that you married someone because they look like a hotter, buffer version of your own mom. Selena in other words. Well, that's what I heard from Camilla not that long after she and Beruka adopted Mitama. And to answer the honest question of what happened to shithole monk, he was murdered in that place we're still not allowed to talk about for some reason. For fear of being murdered or somet- Oh. My wife reminded me that his name was Azama or something. Corrin always called him 'shithole'. A story for another day.

"What did she need?"

Mr Hevring let out a chuckle. Oh dear. Guess this can't be good

"Something about magic." he answered, the waitress returning with their drinks. "Well, that's what I think at least."

.

_ Varley Territory _

Giving credit where it's due, Mrs Bergliez had far more patience than her husband. Not this is saying much in the regard of the couple and their tolerance for waiting on people when you go through the trouble of triple checking with the person to make sure that's a good time to meet. Especially in a place such as Varley territory. A megachurch haven, except everyone looked more at home at a rally for LGBTQ rights. So far, she had seen all sorts of couples marching about with signs and noise makers. No signs of soldiers, though. Not that her plans involved any interactions with said troops. No, the former bandit had something entirely different in mind for tonight. Decked out in her nicest leather biking gear, still fit like a glove. Mostly like a glove. Sort of like her bike. Though that had been fixed up recently by Cherry.

"I'm surprised that your husband let you come on out." the former bandit remarked, taking in her companion. Arriving by minivan of all vehicles (parked right beside the bike), she was dressed in a black jogging suit with a matching set of tennis shoes. Green hair was hanging down to her waist, while brown eyes seemed ready to rebel against this exotic color.

"I told him I was going to a craft fair." Mrs Hevring remarked, taking a deep breath right after. When was the last time that they had actually gotten together? Had to be around the time that their sons came out. "You have some nerve to call me out here."

She got an eye roll from her companion. Not that the secretary was really expecting anything else right now. Anything else would be dishonest of things in general.

"Hey. Varley territory is about to go to hell. We need to make sure that things are crystal clear for some people." Mrs Bergliez remarked as her friend got on her bike. "Here's a helmet."

Accepting the helmet, we're heading off. Where exactly, I'm not entirely sure for the moment. Most of this territory has Count Varley effigies hanging from their street posts. Oh, there's one - Magdred Way. Looks quite well traveled by merchants, except Varley has decided to just the whole place with spikes and stuff. Except you have more than enough curve to drive around it. Except for the maids that have forgotten that's an option. Using a rickshaw of all vehicles, they seem to be carrying a big trailer of crates of all things. Uh… Interesting cargo we got here.

"Need some help?" Mrs Hevring inquired, the maids trying their best to speed up. Not by much. Especially considering they can just go off around that barrier.

"Uh… maybe? You won't take us back to Mr Varley?" the maid driving the rickshaw trailer thing announced, both women shaking their heads. "Good. We're trying to get Gareg Mach. Could you maybe remove these spikes?"

Our pair turned their attention to the spikes. At the moment, they appear to be done in strips of all things. Which makes it quite easy to actually remove the obstacles. Though, the guards that were trying to follow them did notice.

"I would suggest you leave." a guard announced, staring down the stone in Mrs Hevring's hand for the moment. Sure, they could raise their weapons up. But then the meteor would rain down and reduce them into a bunch of ashes. But Mrs Bergliez's fists did quick work and achieved much of the same result. So much for that.

"Get going." she barked, watching the maids break off into a full-on jog. Quite strong and fast, especially as our pair returned to their motorcycle. "Let's get our son's a present."  
Mrs Hevring nodded, the bike headed the way that our unlucky maids headed from. Wonder where they got the crates. Might be something to check out.

"What do you think Linhardt would want at least?" her companion remarked, the secretary taking a moment to think it over. Sure, her son was not much in the way of a fighter. But there had to be something that would suit his fancy.

"Probably some armor." she answered, Mrs Bergliez taking a left with the road. Gareg Mach towered over the vehicle, almost ready to drop something on them if they got too close. Not that any student would, mind you. You would have to be a complete idiot to climb those cliffs. "Though, I'm fairly certain you know what your kid wants?"

A nod, followed by a sigh. Sure, Caspar is easy to gift stuff. Heck, I'm fairly certain that he'll take just about anything if you spin it just right.

"Probably an axe. Maybe some gauntlets of some kind." Mrs Bergliez muttered, gaze shifting back to the road. "While I'm happy that he's getting all the opportunities that neither of us got, I'm afraid that he's not ready to inherit his father's job."

The words roll out, her companion looking away. While it's easy to look at this upcoming invasion as a sign of upheaval and sudden change, you have to remember that these sort of things take quite a bit of time. Nohr sure as fuck wasn't built in a single day. It took quite a number of years and then some. Not that my babbling matters for the moment, since our destination was right ahead - A warehouse, with not much in the way of an actual parking lot. Just a bunch of trees to provide cover. Interesting spot for storing all that stuff. Probably far from the actual smiths and armorers doing their craft. Not that this matters for our former bandit or her passenger. No, they came to a stop and made a beeline for the place. Of course, the place wasn't just be free for the taking. A bit of lockpicking was needed.

"Kind of surprised they haven't changed security systems." the secretary muttered, Mrs Bergliez kicking the door open. Inside, it was crate paradise. Piles of them were all bunched up, with nice little signs denoting where everything went. Which made the pile of stuff off towards the front all the more confusing. That isn't too smart. Did make grabbing their stuff just a tiny bit harder. But not by much.

Grabbing a crate, they shove the stuff in. Then they drag it over to the spot marked with Gareg Mach. Not entirely sure how exac-

The answer turned out to be a green stone smashed into the box. Good to know. Especially as Mrs Hevring threw out a couple more stones. Okay… Nothing's happening. Not sure what that was supposed to accomplish. Especially as they exit. Still don't see the po-

Before I can finish putting that down, what looked to be a couple meteors came crashing on through. Guess that's the solution.

"Ready to head back to your car?" Mrs Bergliez remarked, her companion flashing a thumbs-up. "So, not a word to either of our husbands?"

A nod, followed by the revving up of the motorcycle.

* * *

Notes:

Sorry about the delay between parts. That's on me. But here I am.

.

Next Time: We have a training for battalions, but things don't quite work on out.


	16. Ring, Ring 1 - The After pt 1

I don't own Fire Emblem.

Summary: A dawn of a new day brings with it learning, death and many a change of plans for all sorts of people. Just a regular day at Gareg Mach.

* * *

**Log 43: Ring, Ring 1 - The After pt 1**

Another day, still no closer to the weekend. Oh right. Some stuff happened last night. Nothing major. Just Caspar and Linhardt's moms blowing up a warehouse and helping some maids out. Good stuff.

Which brings us right too this morning, where we find our titular students all getting ready for their day. Or would've, if not for the bell ringing from somewhere. Brings us quite nicely to Hubert at the moment.

"Ugh…" the dark mage muttered, pushing the covers of his bed away. Compared to say… Caspar's room, Hubert's was slightly more decorated. Plushies dominated the room, his latest acquisition - our modestly dressed succubus sitting off to the right side on his bed. She looks quite cute, even if a friend might be necessary in the future. Opposite of the bed is what looks to be a Castoc five foot tall teddy bear. Nowhere near as tough as Deduebear of course. Though the effigy of Count Varley might give it a run for its money. Not sure when he could've gotten that. Unless he was down there last night. Which might be a possibility. "We're being summoned."

Giving the bed a slight shake, his companion roused from his slumber. Dressed in an hubert-sized Teddy Bear-themed onesie with hood, Ferdinand was in no state to be gracefully woken up. Yet, the dark mage did the deed anyhow.

"Yes?" Ferdinand remarked, the sound of the bell finally hitting him at the moment. "Guess we're all being summoned?"

Hubert nodded and handed over the cavilier's clothes. His boyfriend accepted the gesture, making a beeline for the bathroom. Which made it the perfect opportunity to get dressed himself. Not that there was much to really do on his end. Just change out his shirt for the sake of no incriminating evidence of possible crimes. Which says it all. Less so is the now ringing phone. An Okia, the thing looks like it's been through hell and back. Yet still works flawlessly. Probably could drop that device off a cliff and it would still work.

Letting out a groan, Hubert scrambled over and picked his phone up. He had kind of hoped that the person on the other end was who he thought it was, but the chuckle that pierced through told him everything to know in that moment.

"So, how goes it?" the voice on the other end greeted, Hubert taking every ounce of effort to not open the front door and fling his phone out the window. But that wouldn't accomplish much now, would it? So he held it close to his ear.

"Wonderful, dad." the dark mage muttered, shooting the bathroom door a look. Ferdinand still wasn't out yet, which left little in the way of possible distractions. "I'm guessing this is about Varley?"

Another chuckle. Which is even more grating since I have to hear it. It sounds more like someone dying than anything else actually natural.

"What do you think?" the voice answered, Hubert's hand tightening. This was obvious at the moment. "Though, this is more about your request for a 6-foot long dick pool noodle."

Oh right, that.

"It's for a friend." Hubert answered, another glance towards the bathroom door. The click of the lock echoed through, signaling the return of Ferdinand. Hopefully. "His dad wants him to beat the Count up with it in place of the Count's actual dick."

Silence. Yes, we're all aware how fucking absurd that sounds. Believe us, we know. It's nothing like the Saizo naming scheme, but it's up there. Not that such a thing matters right now.

"Oh." the voice on the other end remarked, what sounds like note taking to filter right on through. "I'll send it your way then. Have a nice day, s-"

Hubert hung up before that sentence could be finished. On one hand, getting his hand on the fake dick was quite handy at the moment, even if it was likely that the moment to use said tool would not be till next month. But by that same token, the dark mage had hoped to not get a phone call like that. Especially after not telling him who exactly that said cock was going to be in the hands of.

Innuendos aside, Ferdinand made his exit.

"The gag dick should be here in a couple of days." Hubert announced, slipping his phone into his pocket. Then it's back over to the cavalier. Looking sharp at the moment. Even if I'm not entirely sure what the heck that means. Hey! Don't chuckle. I've had to learn many a word in my long lifespan. A couple sometimes fall to the wayside or have to be replaced.

"Wait. You tried to get it from your dad?" Ferdinand remarked, his boyfriend looking away. While sure, there was some animosity between his father and Hubert's, but still.

"Yeah. Don't tell your dad." the dark mage remarked and headed for the door. Ferdinand followed right behind, somehow catching up just in time to pull the door open and head out. There, we find Caspar lying in a heap getting pulled by Linhardt of all people.

"By any chance, Hubert?" the scholar asked, Hubert already shaking his head. You didn't even hear his question. Give the guy a chance. Though I guess it probably has something to do with Caspar. "Do you at least know where the professor is at least?"

A shrug, especially as Lysithea of all people rushed on by. Looking quite distressed, she didn't give any of our boys a chance to ask what happened or why she was running in the first place.

"What's up with her?" Caspar mumbled, gaze slowly opening up. You would think he would notice his current placement on his boyfriend. You would be wrong. "Hi Hubert, hi Ferdinand."

Getting a pair of waves, the fighter jumped off of Linhardt's back. No sign of a thank you or anything. Though considering how it's usually the other way around, the expectation is sort of different. Technically.

Though, that did also bring Petra and Mercedes over. Even if the former was munching down on a pastry of some kind. Looks to be a donut. Could really go for one right now.

"Good morning." Mercedes greeted, Petra choosing to wave for the moment. Doesn't explain our dom's choice of her work outfit over her school outfit. Might want to change out before someone else notices. "Is that everyone for the moment?"

Looking among each other, it's Caspar of all people who shakes his head. I was expecting Ferdinand to do it. But this works too.

"Bernadetta, Edelgard, Dorothea and the professor." the fighter announced, getting a nod from Ferdinand. "Though, I feel like they would be the ones grabbing us."

Yeah. Where are those three? This seems like a huge event. Especially with that stupid bell ringing in the background. Must be something major to prevent them from showing up. Though that doesn't explain our running wannabe child. I doubt her teacher would really approve of such actions.

But then the bell ringing stops. Huh. Guess you got your wish, Linhardt.

"Students, the class on Battalions to be held by Jertiza has been canceled." a voice announced, our black eagles breathing a sigh of relief. "On the account of Jeritza being found murdered."

Well, fuck.


	17. Ring, Ring 2 - The After pt 2

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: We check in on Byleth, maid to deal with a problem from Rhea.

* * *

**Log 44: Ring, Ring 2 - The After pt 2**

"Good morning, Byleth."

It had been Byleth's hope to get a good night's sleep after the events of yesterday. Of course, someone else had other plans for her right now. Thankfully, those plans didn't involve having her get woken up at the ungodly hour of 4 am. No, this person was willing to let her sleep till around 7 am. Not that the bell ringing in the background was doing much favors.

This took the form of a certain pope casually walking into the apartment and right on into the master bedroom. Makes the sword pointed their way all the more predictable at the moment. Not that I wouldn't blame for her doing that. Probably do the same if I or my wife were in her shoes. Though, I would probably go with a hex or a body swap spell. Something like that.

"Please tell me you've at least brought me a door to replace the one your retainer broke." Byleth barked and got a smile from our truly wonderful pope. This is going to be one of those days, isn't it? Makes me want to punch it out until none of her teeth are left. She still probably be able to speak. Fucking bitch.

"Why would I bring you that?" Rhea answered, her voice that stupid tone of perky that Soleil likes to use sometimes. At least she tries to be genuine. Most of the time. "If anything, you should be the one paying for that."

It took everything in Byleth's power to not stab her boss. It's not good for wanting to stay employed. Even if it's the expectation that your abode has a way to not show the world all the dang time. Seriously, that's the least one should get out of your home. But I digress.

"Okay." she muttered and sat up in her bed, double take following. Right behind Rhea, stood a woman. Dressed like a maid, bruises and other wounds looked to be haphazardly covered with a mix of makeup and clothes. Yet there looked to be even more similarly dressed people behind them. Wait. Those are the maids from the previous part. Quite a walk they made in such a short time. But maybe they know something about what happened with Jertiza. "What's with the maids?"

Rhea let out a chuckle, thankfully not trying to lean in for a kiss. That would've made this whole thing all the more worse at the moment.

"That's your problem now." Rhea explained and headed for the front at the moment. "Have a wonderful day."

Yet, Byleth turned her focus towards the maids. With Rhea now gone, they had all chosen to scatter themselves about her apartment. Yet, the professor reached over for her phone. Dialing a number in, she held it up to her ear.

"Professor, is something wrong?" Dorothea's soothing voice floated through, bringing some relief to our heroine for the moment. Which was then followed by a deep breath.

"Well, I been told to deal with a bunch of maids from… somewhere." the professor answered, Dorothea hanging up on her. Huh. that's odd. Wonder wh-

The buzzing of a drone filled the air, rapidly approaching the apartment. Scrambling to get herself dressed, Byleth was greeted by the sight of Dorothea in her uniform. That was quick. Though, you might have wanted to give her some heads-up before bailing on the phone call.

"I'm guessing you need my help with all these maids?" the opera singer inquired, watching a now dressed Byleth approach.

"Pretty much." Byleth answered, getting what looked to be a thumbs-up from his assistant. Then it's over to the first of many maids. "Can we help you?"

The maid looked away, trying her best to shove their body into a cabinet. Except they don't really fit at the moment. Even if they did, there's far better places to keep a low profile. Maybe the closet instead?

"You're uh… not going to hurt me, right?" the maid whimpered and got a nod from both girls. Standing back up, she made her way over to the couch. Sitting herself down, she waited patiently for the professor and her assistant to join her. How nice.

"So where did you come from?" Dorothea inquired, their target taking some time to compose themselves. Looking about, they focused back on the pair.

"Varley Territory." the maid croaked, her gaze resuming its trip around the room for her co-workers. For the moment, I can make out a couple hiding. Doesn't help most of their outfits have blood or some other fluid marking them out. "I'm guessing you know of Count Varley?"

Byleth nodded, mentally preparing herself for whatever that may come out of the maid's mouth right after. Too late now, dear. You've already heard some of the worst stuff. Can only go up from here. Or was it down? One of the two here.

"I've heard of him." the professor remarked, Dorothea nodding in agreement. "I'm guessing that you all left because of his declarati-"

The maid shook her head, Edelgard of all people entering through the empty doorframe. Out of breath and looking a touch frustrated, something must've happened earlier. But I can't put my finger on what.

"Your highness!" the maid announced, jumping out of her seat and heading for the house leader. "Can you direct us to Ms Varley?"

A sigh, Edelgard's attention shifting away from the speaker and over to one of the apartment walls.

"That's the thing." Edelgrard responded and approached Byleth and Dorothea. "I can't seem to find Bernadetta at the moment. Worst come to worst, she's baking something in the kitchen."

Uh… not sure how that's entirely the worse situation when someone has just died! Sorry. Sometimes it feels like I'm listening to Selena bitch about her mom while talking to Hinoka of all people. Who according to her, looks just like her mom. That's very creepy, which coming from the time when I was actually 'young' (where this sort of thing was sadly common). Sorry. I got off track there. Even if this is just a rethread of stuff said in the previous entry.

"So do you want one of us to head for the kitchen then?" Byleth inquired, only for Manuela to run in on the scene. Hungover like usual, she looks to be panicking. About what, I'm not entirely sure right now. Unlike Edelgard's problem though, I think I have a guess. Maybe her 'little' bundle of joy? She was acting quite suspicious when everyone was heading to the front for that now canceled class. "Manuela, did something happen?"

Manuela took a deep breath, nearly toppling over in the process. Dorothea helped her up, her companion's gazes focusing in on. Before they had a chance to really inquire on the general happenings of the moment…

"Students, the class on Battalions to be held by Jertiza has been canceled." a voice announced over the announcement system. We already knew that, though this does give everyone an alibi. "On the account of Jeritza being found murdered."

Well, fuck. Here we go again.


	18. Ring, Ring 3 - The Middle

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: We take a step back and trace the steps of our future emperor.

* * *

**Log 45: Ring, Ring 3 - The Middle**

The Flame Emperor was not amused.

In the middle of something entirely different, they had answer a phone call. Said phone call was with the one person they had hoped to avoid talking too. At least till next month, which would serve as a curtain call for this piece of shit.

"I feel like the answer should be obvious here." they screeched, hoping to god the person on the other end understood how much they fucked up. It's one thing to commit to invading Gareg Mach, it was another entirely different thing to ask permission to use the Death Knight for the sake of collecting "If she was really so precious, you would've been a good fucking father and husband. But you weren't."

The person on the other end just grumbled, probably muttering something homophobic. Not that our mysterious stranger was really listening to that. Especially under the heavy mask and voice changer they had to wear to accomplish the effect. One of these days they would find a lighter material that could withstand arrows and/or stones. Today wasn't that day, tomorrow just as unlikely.

"Sucks to be you." they announced and hung up. A deep breath followed. "You would think he of all people would get it."

For now, their phone could be stashed away along with the mask in it's secret spot - a small crevice in a wall that could be easily covered up to prevent people from getting nosy and finding out their secret. But as glad as she was to have a place to keep all this stuff, it made having to walk a fine line to not get caught. Something that Edelgard preferred to avoid for the moment. Especially as she shifted her attention away from the hiding spot and back to the task at hand - finding her girlfriend. Which meant digging out her other phone to check for any messages. The possibility of leadership of an entire territory was not something to be taken lightly, especially when you might need to face down your own father and all that he inflicted on you.

"Crud."

Staring down at the screen, the house leader found herself bombarded with unread text messages. While Bernadetta was not one to really to send long strings of text, this was one of the few times she did. Of course, most of them consisted of some variation on 'where are you' or 'I need you right now' with a bunch of internet speak and misspellings to boot. But nothing on where exactly she was currently. More of a guessing game now.

So Edelgard did the natural thing in this situation - call her. This is becoming quite a pattern today. Though considering that Lilith had to teach my former employer not to eat hers, guess that goes without saying. That was a very long day. But I digress.

"Bernadetta?" she inquired, only to be greeted with the sound of a dial tone for the moment. Someone forgot they needed to wait. But in a situation like this, that's expected. Even more so with the foresight of future events on my mind at the moment.

Yet the house leader waited. One ring. Typical of most phone calls. Two rings. Okay, there's a chance that this won't work out. Three rings. You're going to have to leave a message.

"Bernadetta," what one can only assume to be Bernadetta's answering machine on her phone. "Is not available. Please leave a message after the beep. *beep*"

Edelgard sighed, taking the time to look about. Then it's right back to the phone.

"Bernadetta, it's me Edelgard. I'm trying to find you for the moment. If you can, call me back?" the house leader remarked, thoughts of possible fates threatening to break through and flood her mind. "I just got your texts and I'm just… worried about your safety. Okay?"

Ending her call, the house leader took the time to stuff this phone on her body (not going to go there) and let out another deep breath.

"Get out of the way!" a voice screeched, Lysithea barreling on past. Not even giving any time for Edelgard to get out of the way. Even if she had, the red on her hands was a cause for concern. Even if it could be all sorts of things - raspberries, strawberries, red paint. Lipstick, cool-aid. Stuff like th-

No Mozu, I don't want any of th- Okay, you can make up some lemonade. Just pour me a glass once you're done. Where were we? Right, the possibility of a dead body. From the looksie, Edelgard was already making a beeline for the front of the Academy. The bell is still ringing in the background. Doesn't get any softer or louder with each passing ring. More annoying would be the right word to describe this. Let's go with that. Especially as our house leader tries to get her thoughts in order. In between a certain person's 'request' and Bernadetta's panic, her own plans looked to be changing in a way that the house leader could ever dream of. Whether this is a sweet dream or some twisted nightmare, remains to be seen.

Yet, Edelgard pushed forward through the entrance hall. Her destination was right in view, but something was off. Sure it's morning, but shouldn't there be people manning the little campus shops? Heck, even the gatekeeper is off somewhere else for the moment. What if someone tried to sneak their way into the academy. Maybe some infiltrator who wishes to cut to the chase and bring an end to the conflict before it starts? Possible, but unlikely. No, there was one more thing in particular.

"Fuck."

The moment Edelgard's gaze met the dead body of Jeritza, a million different things went through her mind. For starters, how did this happen. Sure, we've paid little mind to the 'best' 'swordsman' of Gareg Mach, but now is the time to get to know him. What remains of him, at least. There's little blood loss, but what's there shows a purple wound of all things.

"You idiot." she muttered, trying to resist the urge to just slap her fallen comrade in the hopes of somehow reviving him. But no such harm was inflicted to the fallen instructor. Instead, she pulled what looked to be papers of some kind. Incriminating evidence? Probably. Then it's time to pretend this is that one game series. What was it's name? Dugun Runpu? Don Gon Ron Pa? Mozu, can you help me out there?

Oh. Danganronpa. Thank you. And no, I will not play that one song. It freaks me out. Okay? Such sounds should not play out of a speaker. Not that this matters as Edelgard approaches Seteth of all people.

"Seteth, there's a dead body." Edelgard explained and got a double take from the headmaster. Or whatever his title supposedly is for the moment. "It's Jeritza."

A nod, followed by our house leader trying to sneak away at the moment. A look from Seteth brings an end to that.

"So you just found the body?" Seteth remarked, getting a nod from Edelgard. "No sign of the culprit?"

"Correct." the house leader answered as she pulled her map out. "I'm going to go inform Byleth on this."

Not even waiting for an answer, Edelgard was off. Mind going a mile a minute, hopefully things would work out.

* * *

Notes:

Originally, Ring, Ring was going to be four parts but the 'before' got spun off into it's own fic. Outside of that, I was at one time a dangan ronpa fanfiction writer. Not a very good one though.


	19. Break the Cutie

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: Lysithea makes a mistake. A big, huge mistake. The sort of mistake that kills people.

* * *

**Log 46: Break the Cutie**

It hadn't been Lysithea's intention to be up so early. That was how things worked out.

In fact, Manuela had promised to take her too a playground if she was good. And the little mage had been. Even as Claude tested the limits of Raphael's mouth with mozzarella sticks (fourteen, if you were all wondering), she held her ground and was the buzzkill of the party. Not that there was really a need for such an event. They still had no real classroom to work with and the actual education - the whole point of even coming to Gareg Mach in the first place had been to find like-minded people who could help reverse this 'disease' running through her veins. But all she found was nothing but jokers and slackers. Okay, that was probably pushing it. That didn't apply to all of her classmates. Some of these people actually looked like they had some talent. All of which was being wasted by their house leader. A person who just came out of nowhere and was made heir to the alliance. But that was beyond the point. She was going to wait patiently in what remained of the night until her teacher returned. Any second now, Manuela would come walking up.

"Manuela?" Lysithea called out, a shadow approaching her. But when no response came back, she dug into her stone pouch. Sure, it was dangerous to jump straight to lethal force. But considering the heightened level of security and the definite possibility of Count Varley invading the school, it was necessary. "Uh… show yourself?"

"Die." a voice greeted, the air around them chilling a bone-freezing cold. What looked to be a swing of some kind of weapon followed, the little mage pulling a stone out. The throw that followed seems to be in slow motion. The shadow darts away, making a beeline for what looks to be the cafeteria. The voice wasn't so lucky, crumpling to the ground with a light 'thud'. That was the least of Lysithea's worries for the moment. No, she was making a beeline for the person hit.

But as she approached, all color left the little mage's face. There was no way, This couldn't be possible at the moment. Yet, here she stood - the dead body of Jeritza laying on the floor. Time seemed to lose all meaning in that moment, reality ready to snap right in and eat her up.

"I need to remove the stone." she thought, trying to summon all her time in the infirmary. Sure, a lot of that was helping Manuela out with her hangover. But the rest of that had been quite informative. Not that Manuela ever dealt with someone who died from a stone-based death.

Pulling away the deceased's shirt, Lysithea dug her hands into the wound. I'm fairly certain that you're not supposed to do that. Like at all. Unless you're engaging in organ transplants. The black market kind. Yeah, Niles had the wise idea to take both Nina and Forrest on a job. At the time, Leo was off dealing with some stuff in Ylisse with Hinoka and Rinkah. Why the fuck he thought this was the best time to do a field trip is beyond me or Mozu. Let alone to a place that children go to in order to sell their organs. Grade A parenting right here, folks! But I digress.

Eventually, our little mage was able to dig her precious stone out. But not before holding back some amount of vile that was ready to shoot up out of her body. Keeping it down, she looks about for a moment and then starts running. Sure, pulling out her map and just pointing to a destination would have been a lot easier, but Lysithea didn't care. Already her mind was going backward. If she didn't get to her apartment and hide herself away.

If luck was on her side, maybe then Manuela would come. She just had too. While the chance at going to a playground was now long gone, They could still make something out of this, right?

"Get out of the way!"

Pushing someone aside (didn't really matter who it is, really), she charged head-on for the dorms. Taking the stairs two at a time, things were looking in the clear. Of course, there was still one more obstacle in her way - a group of people. Yet, the little mage paid them no mind. In turn, they paid her no mind.

"Almost there."

Reaching out for her door, Lysithea swung it open and scurried inside. She had made it. Now, all that was left to do was compose herself. Yeah.

Sitting herself down, she got into her little girl clothes. Normally, this was enough to bring some relief for the little mage. But now, she was even more on edge. Her whole world seemed ready to crash down around her, with little in the way of anything stable.

""Students, the class on Battalions to be held by Jertiza has been canceled." a voice announced, tears beginning to roll down Lysithea's face. "On the account of Jeritza being found murdered."

She had fucked up. It was quite possible she would get expelled from Gareg Mach. All of her hard work for naught. All that was left to do now was wait for the consequences.

* * *

Notes:

Well, that's quite a death. Accident or not. Which does mean I've broken the story of Three Houses even more.

.

Next Time: Manuela goes to check on her pupil, then we figure out what to do with the maids. Oh boy.


	20. Sunshine in a Rainstorm

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: Manuela goes off to find her pupil, trying her best to make some good out of this situation.

* * *

**Log 47: Sunshine in a Rainstorm**

The words keep ringing through Manuela's head as she stood in Byleth's apartment. It didn't seem real currently. Like someone was somehow playing a mean trick on her, currently. Or perhaps that was just the alcohol still coursing through her body. Maybe both here.

While she wanted to believe that her 'child' was alright for the moment, a funny feeling rattled about her head that said otherwise. Sure, that could just be the last bit of drunkenness still in her system, that probably wasn't the case here. No, this was something else entirely. Something… far darker.

"I need to go." the songstress announced, pulling herself free from the stupor of her hangover. "Once I'm done, I'll come back and help you with whatever your problem is at the moment."

Getting a pair of nods and a look from the strange woman by them, Manuela made her exit. Rushing down the walkway, the need to curse herself for her own 'stupid mistake' seemed to grow. It had been her hope that the party would tide the students over. Just long enough for her to fill out all the paperwork and send it out. Of course, she just had to have one. fucking. drink. That was all it had taken to get her drunk. Wasn't even that strong of a drink too. Thankfully Cherry was there to help her. The bartender managed to put up with her drunk ass and somehow scooted her into the back room to sleep it off.

But then she wouldn't be at Gareg Mach in time to take a certain someone swinging and break the news. Happy news, not sad news like one would expect out of a situation like this. Or would've been, if not for the situation we find ourselves in at the moment.

Approaching the door, Manuela gave it a slight knock. With the way people have been destroying doors as of late, you would think it would explode into a million splinters. But that was not the case here, thankfully.

"Lysithea, may I come in?" she cooed, hearing what sounded like a 'yes' from the other side. Pushing it open, she found the little mage cramped into a corner, hitting herself. A puddle of tears hangs right beside her, the sound of it all muffled by the corner. But not by much. "Mommy's here now. Could you tell her what's wrong?"

Lysithea's gaze shifted over to Manuela, the songstress sitting herself down right beside the little mage. Holding a hand out, Lysithea grabbed hold.

"I… fu… fuh fucked up, momma." Lysithea whispered, a single stone sitting in her lap. She moved the rock about, it's purpose used mere minutes before. Some blood covers it, but you can still see the purple shine of the projectile. "I killed Jeritza."

Silence fell over the room, Manuela debating her response. As much as blaming herself for not being here was an option, that wouldn't change the fact that it was Lysithea's hands that had killed the swordsman. This was her responsibility, not Manuela's.

"Can you tell me what happened at least?" Manuela continued, Lysithea looking away. Trying her best to dry up the tears, a deep breath followed. Then it's right back to Manuela.

"I saw a shadow and I thought… and I thought that he was going to come get me. So I threw a stone out… I didn't think it would hit him…"  
Carefully, Manuela put a hand on Lysithea's shoulder. Not too firm, but not too soft either. Just enough to apply some pressure in the hopes of stopping the head beating. It looks to have gotten the desired result.

"And then he died." Lysithea whimpered, gaze on the floor. "I fucked this up majorly, Mama. Didn't I?"

Tears began to roll down Manuela's face now. If she had known better, she would've at least brought with her some tissues. But that didn't change the way that things had gone.

"That is up for Rhea to decide." Manuela answered, taking a deep breath. In between this and the possibility of invasion by Varley's troops, they would need everyone for such a defense. But at the same time, a member of staff had been murdered. There was going to be some kind of punishment. What that would entail exactly, she wasn't sure. "Though, I do have some good news."

Lysithea looked over to her teacher, confused. How the heck could there somehow be some form of good news within all of that bad.

"I've decided to adopt you." Manuela explained, papers coming out. "How does that sound?"

The little mage's eyes grew large enough to obscure them with a quarter. Not that we use that silly american currently. Well, in Ylisse they do at least. According to Ophelia, when she's not babbling about gobbledygook. But I digress.

"You would still be my mommy?" Lysithea inquired, getting a nod in return. It didn't make the mess they were in any less easier, this was a start.

"Of course, dear."

* * *

Notes:

Oh boy.

If we're going by self-defense laws (in the UK at least), Lysithea would very much be in the wrong by way of force and possibly have to serve jail time. But by the same token, actual 'jail' consistency seems to bounce about in all routes.

As for Lysithea's adoption, that isn't quite the end of that. But we'll have to wait till Manuela can actually be recruited.

.

Next Time: Descending into Bernadetta's nightmares. Oh boy.


	21. One for the road

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: Shamir tries to do some last minute preparations for Catherine ahead of her big mission. It goes as well as you think it would.

* * *

**Log 49: One for the road**

After the commotion that was Jeritza's death, things seemed to calm down around Gareg Mach. Sure, there was a 'funeral' (if you can even call it that) and additional guards posted at the various entrances to buildings. But those things weren't on Catherine's mind for the moment. No, the retainer's focus was on the upcoming mission. Try as she might to bury her past, it had sprung forth once more to haunt her. I know that feeling. There are a couple stories I don't think I'll be able to ever tell Mozu. Not because I don't think she would believe me, more because it means admitting to the less than nice things I've done. The deeds I'm still repenting even now.

"Not much longer." she told herself, the window already displaying the work of Byleth and company. Currently filling what she could only assume to be Mercedes's minivan. Who else could possibly have a driver's license? Sure, she had one for her motorcycle, but the whole mess with Duscur had made it near impossible to get it renewed. As long as she played it safe with the law. Even if said laws were enforced more by the church than the actual territories themselves. Quite corrupt if you ask me at least. But that's expected of all systems of power. No matter how big or small, there is always going to be someone or some group that wishes to take advantage of their subjects. Goes without saying.

"Catherine?"

This person's shout fell on deaf ears.

"Catherine!"

Turning around, Catherine found herself staring down Shamir. Lounging about in the doorframe, she didn't look too happy. Rhea was nowhere to be found, definitely for the best in this situation.

"Yes, Shamir?" Catherine called out, her girlfriend making the short journey over to her. "Let me guess. This is about my mission today?"

The mercenary nodded and reached out. Catherine grabbed hold, even if her gaze did return to the window. The last of the preparations now complete, it was almost time to get going. Better make this quick, dear. Don't want to miss your ride.

"Please… don't do anything stupid." Shamir remarked and let out a deep breath. After what happened at Dinny's, it was a good precaution. Even if it's a bit late to be saying that. Maybe after that humiliating shitshow. But to each their own. "Especially not with me around to watch your ass."

Her words ring out. Sure, it would only be for just today. But why did it feel ever so much longer? Like some mischievous force trying to push them away. Try as either woman might to fight it, they were always swept away from each other. Today was no different. Maybe tomorrow would bring better odds of such a tantalizing win. Not very likely, but maybe. Just maybe it could occur.

"I won't… hopefully." Catherine answered and turned around, getting a slap as she did. "Hey, I've gotten better."

Shamir rolled her eyes. She had hoped that Catherine would at least get what she was saying, but that was seeming to be a challenge. No, an exercise in futility. That seemed like the story of her life some days. Either it was Catherine who completely missed the point, or Rhea trying her hardest to wedge herself between the two. What the fuck made this woman think she could own another human being.

"That's not my point." Shamir muttered, looking away as the last word left her mouth. "I just want you… to come back without some major storm following right behind - destroying everything in its path."

Catherine nodded, the sound of footsteps echoing over. Taking a deep breath, she let her gaze focus on her girlfriend. Absolutely beautiful as alway, no matter how clean or even dirty she was. One of the many things she looked like about her.

"I won't." the retainer answered as she let go of Shamir's hand. Heading for the doorframe, she took the time to get one last look in. Pretty as ever, it was such a shame to be parting so soon. But duty called. Even if it didn't feel fair or right. Or better yet, making someone a lunch and then forgetting to give it to them.

* * *

Notes:

This started out as Byleth and company getting ready, but then I decided I just wanted to write Cathmir angst. So I did. Even then, I'm fairly certain that a similar conversation happens in regular 3h. Why else would Catherine let you have the kill?

As for Lysithea, that's for Chapter 5. Mostly because Chapter 4 will be one, maybe two fics. Any more than that is too much for Count Varley.

.

Next Time: Into the storm we go, obscured by fog. Oh dear.


	22. Into the Storm

I don't own fire emblem.

Summary: The end of chapter 3 brings us to the titular maid cafe and of course, a broken promise and of course, lots and lot of double crossing.

* * *

**Log 50: Into the Storm**

In all of her time as a mercenary/professor, Byleth hadn't expected to find herself at a protest. Sure, it was possible that a group of protestors had approached them to do a job, but Jeralt had declined. Or something along those lines. A lot of the pair's missions started to blend together.

Sitting in the front of Mercedes's minivan, there was a different feeling to this. Maybe it was all the people who they crammed into the vehicle. It was likely that the minivan wasn't designed for this many people.

"How's everyone doing?" the professor called out, getting a mix of groans and sighs from the back. "Yes, I'm aware this is far from an ideal seating arrangement. Unless one of you wants to get an actual driver's license, be my guest."

Almost on cue, Hubert pulled his driver's license out and got a look from Ferdinand.

"She said a real driver license." the cavalier remarked, finding himself on the receiving end of chuckling from his boyfriend. So carefully, he leaned forward and took a closer look.

A totally real driver's license

Really? Honesty is great and all, but that just takes the cake. Especially in how stupid that actually looks should someone from this church catches you. Oh well, never mind. That's probably the least of your worries. Even if that really shouldn't be the case.

But our attention shifts away from those two and over to Caspar of all people

"How are you feeling, Countess?" the brawler remarked, gaze turning to Bernadetta for the moment. Wedged between both Edelgard and all the maids that could fit in here, the archer looked pretty comfortable. Not entirely sure why none of the maids couldn't drive. Oh right. They ran over a bunch of spikes in a rickshaw. These are not the brightest bulbs in the box.

"Alright." Bernadetta whispered, reaching over to grab hold of Edelgard's hand. While the past couple of nights hadn't been so bad, she was nowhere in the clear. The house leader grabbed hold, giving some gentle pressure.

"That's good to hear." Caspar answered and gave Linhardt a slight tap. The scholar didn't react, choosing instead to just nap. So Caspar let his focus shift to Byleth. "Teach, do you think you can turn the radio on?"

Byleth looked over to Mercedes. Currently, our dom had her eyes on the road, both hands on the wheel. Knowing her, it's probably either death metal or church gos-

Before I can finish writing that, my wife gave me a tap. Yes, Mozu? Right, you think it will be something like news or country. Though, don't you always have it set it some j-pop or is it k-pop? One of the two. Not that this is bad or anything, I always saw you as more of a country person. That's all.

"Go ahead." she answered, Byleth carefully grabbing the volume knob and twisted it to the right. Smooth jazz echoed out from the speakers, a far cry from what either of us could have even guessed. Not that there was anything being offered up current-

"This is CPR - Church Public Radio." the voice on the radio announced, getting groans and sighing in return. Good to see these fuckers are here as well. For some fucking reason, Azama made it his mission to put a similar radio station whenever everyone had gathered. It was called Nohr Public Radio, or NPR. In between music, they had these stupid three hour loops they would play. Could it kill you to have an extra hour? Please? It's the least you can do when you're not spewing pro-Garon propaganda. That was the second worst part. I get that this is a 'public' platform, but still. Crud. I got on quite a tangent, didn't I? Sorry about that. "Today, it was officially announced that the Varley Territory is going to split from the Adrestian Empire to create their own separate nation - Varleyland."

Bernadetta did a double take. Of course her father would go with that option. Though that did mean that he and whatever troops he can get to unite under his twisted flag. But that's a problem for when we get back.

"Varleyland is a pompous name for a just as pompous man." Linhardt chimed, somehow awake enough to hear that.

"What would you've gone with?" Catherine remarked as Mercedes honked her horn. Oh dear. Guess there's traffic on the highway for once. Or whatever route our heroes have chosen for travel.

"Screw you Land." Linhardt announced and I want to slap him. That wasn't even that good. At least spin a pun of some kind to boot. But oh well. 'Screw you Land' it is.

The rest of the drive was relatively uneventful and quiet. Well, outside of passing by Anna's pickup truck. Looks just as crazy as last time. Hopefully that isn't a sign of trouble to come. So much for this being a peaceful rally. Okay, I probably shouldn't say that. The odds may not be in favor of a lack of violence, but I don't think anyone will tell them that.

"Is it supposed to be so foggy?" Petra remarked, a sheet of gray cutting right into the visibility of just about everything currently. I'm no Fodlan weathercaster but that doesn't look too natural. Especially with it starting right in front of the building that I can only assume to be where we'll be having our maid cafe. Looks quite quaint and hopefully on the route of the protest. Wait. This isn't a parade or even a festival. Why do we even need a maid cafe in the first place? Judging by the way my beloved wife is currently looking at me, that should've been obvious from the get-go. In my defense, A whole bunch of stuff happened and those sorts of details got lost in the cracks.

Still got me a playful hit. I definitely deserve that.

"So what's the food plan?" one of the maids in the very back chimed in, silence falling over the car. A shame we don't have any news to listen too. Though, I probably go off on another rant.

"Uh… imaginary food?" Byleth croaked out, just now coming to the same conclusion that I just had mere moments before. "Nobles would totally eat that… right?"

Crickets. Not entirely sure where said bugs are coming from, but it fits the tone to the T. Though here in Nohr and parts of Hoshido when that whole mess happened, it was usually some guy in the bushes. Like seriously, this is a warzone. Why the hell are you making sounds? We could have seriously killed you! But I digress.

Coming to a stop, our heroes take the time to unbuckle and file out one by one. Even outside of the car, the fog looked ready to eat them up in one bite. Right at the edge of it all, we find Anna's truck. Wonderful.

"Is this what one would call… 'quaint'?" Petra remarked, finding Mercedes of all people patting her. Yeah, Maybe it's better to keep her in the dark. But that's the least of their worries. Especially as Byleth turned her attention to Hubert and Ferdinand. She was about to say something, but they were already off for the back of the minivan. A majority of the Black Eagles were right behind, leaving just Dorothea and Catherine of all people.

"Want to look at the pla-" Byleth croaked out, getting nods from the pair. Followed by Sothis climbing her way up onto Catherine. "Sothis?"

Sothis didn't respond, choosing instead to space out. Her eyes close for the briefest of moments. Images flash through her head - death and destruction, love and lust. You know, typical flashback stuff. It seems… peaceful. But between all of that, there's other things. War, large explosions and of course, murder. Lots and lots of murder.

"Hey." Catherine remarked, giving the person on her a slight shake. Sothis's eyes slowly slid open, reality returning to her. Breaking free from her ride, she floated for a couple seconds above the retainer, only to come back down to solid earth. Been quite a while since this happened.

"Sorry." Sothis remarked, already back in her 3DS. Oh well. Which wasn't enough to stop her following our trio into their 'cafe'. Inside, the place was just as barren as the food plan.

"Wonderful." Byleth muttered, taking a deep breath right after. At this point, it's pretty clear that someone wanted a show. "So we're just going to have to everyone stand and eat imaginary food?"

Dorothea chuckled, giving her girlfriend a slight tap. Uh.. Okay. I'm not quite sure what you see that I don't.

"Yes." the opera singer remarked and got a look from both Catherine and Byleth. To be fair, we tend to avoid fancy dining places. It doesn't help that I got banned from a couple of them. What? Sometimes, people don't want to deal with the witch.

Another play hit. I definitely deserved this one more than the last. Especially as our pair of people did a quick sweep around the inside. While there was at least lights and plenty of seating room, that was pretty much all they got. What looked to be a side room meant to be a kitchen attached to the dining area. But nothing in the way of actual cooking equipment. Guess you can use that to your advantage. Not that it is really much of one to begin with.

"We can market it as a high-concept eatery with weight loss capabilities." Dorothea explained as the rest of our students and maids made their entrance into the 'cafe'. All dressed in their maid outfits, that's actually a pretty good idea. Not that you're really saving time without "Unless any of you have a better idea."

Silence. Sure, there was a bit of a delay from just taking in the place and it actually dawning on them that they had been played by Rhea. Becoming quite a pattern. Hopefully this is just a fluke and not a perfect storm of bad ideas that culminated in this mess. Yet their attention all shifted to Byleth.

"For the moment, I'm going to need you to 'set' this place up in preparation of the protest." the professor explained, gaze right on Dorothea. Getting a nod, the opera singer cleared her throat and walked up beside her girlfriend.

"Like I said before, we're going to be serving imaginary food with standing room." Dorothea explained, getting a look from Caspar of all people. To be fair, this idea just sounds absolutely silly.

"Why would anyone actually buy imaginary food?" the brawler inquired and got a nod from Ferdinand in agreement. Did get Petra looking to him as well.

"Does imaginary food taste the same as real food?" she added, silence falling over the space once more. I feel like the answer to that should be pretty obvious. But you know, no stupid question or something. That's how it goes, right? Good.

"Uh… sure." Byleth answered, Hunert handing off the additional maid outfits. "Thank you."

Hubert nodded, taking the time to return to Ferdinand's side. But not before giving a proper curtsey. Getting one in return, the dark mage turned back around to face the professor.

"You're dismissed."

With that, our trio headed to the back. While they practiced this before, there was a different energy to it. Like something was waiting for them to react and was beginning to grow impatient with them.

"Bylerh, could I ask you something?" Catherine remarked, the professor's gaze already on her. Taking a deep breath, she took a moment to gather her thoughts. "After this mission, I was thinking of enrolling back in Gareg Mach…"

Byleth gaze slipped back an inch, forcing her to refocus on the retainer. She had clearly heard what she thought Catherine had just said.

"Let me guess. You want me to take you on as a student?" Byleth answered, getting a nod in return. Even if that did get her a look from Dorothea in return. "I would be willing to do that."

Catherine stared at her future teacher for the moment. She had heard the words, but to get an answer so fast? Maybe today would work out after all.

Now dressed, the trio made their exit. While everyone was currently waiting about, customers were already piling up at the front door. That's odd. Even with no advertising, that seems quite fishy.

"Be on your guard." Hubert announced, everyone getting their weapon at the ready. As they did that, the fog grew even thicker. Definitely can't be good.

The door opened up, stones and arrows getting flinged forward. So much for this being 'peaceful'. Though, considering what the plan was at the beginning, I'm not surprised.

"Wait." one of the 'patrons' announced, gaze right on Catherine. Sword pulled back, they charge right for the retainer. Thunderbrand met his weapon, The result was quite clear - a complete blur of motion and action. Patron after patron approaching, shouts about Thunderstrike Cassandra echoing about. Sure, there was the occasional barbarian or medic choosing someone else - but those were all quickly dispatched.

"I'm sorry." Bernadetta announced, launching an arrow from her bow and into her target. Clapping from her maids followed, which turned into them knifing a stay thief before he could steal some of the imaginary food on offer. Not sure what they expected to get out of this. Maybe something tangible? Or perhaps they wanted to cause a distraction. Wasn't very effective. But that soon turned to be the least of our worries for the moment.

"Thunderstrike Cassandra, we meet again."

The last of our rowdy patrons falls to the floor. Standing right in front of the door is an older man. Decked out in heavy plate, his white hair and scarred face stood out in the cafe.

"Lord Lonato." Catherine mumbled, Thunderbrand shaking about. She was already at her limit, her blade couldn't last any longer. So she stood there, Shamir's promise echoing about her head. She had fucked up. Now, the consequences of her actions were finally coming to a head. "If this is about Christophe, I'm sorry. If I had known what would happen, I would have rall-"

Lord Lonato didn't answer, choosing instead to pull his spear back. The thrust that followed looks deadly, at least till the barrage of weapons, stones and arrows came his way. The spear fell to the ground, the wielder doing the same mere moments later.

"You fools." Lord Lonato mumbled, gaze shifting to Edelgard of all people. "You've made her even more powerful, little emperor. I hope you're able to come out ahead."

With that, the last breath exited his mouth and the lord's eyes slid shut. Byleth made her way over, doing a quick search of Lonato's pockets. Eventually, what looked to be a note came out.

_To the esteemed Lord Lonato,_

_Thank you for your support. With your help, it will be absolutely simple to take Gareg Mach from under those fuckers noses. Even if you do fail, you have taken the first step towards a new world. _

_I'm aware this is quite a big ask. But for you and the Western Church to be so receptive to my proposal, that's absolutely wonderful. Bonus points if you capture that daughter of mine and put her in the place she should be._

_Count Varley of Varley Land_

Taking a deep breath, the professor handed it over to Edelgard. Didn't last too long, mostly because the house leader ate it. But not before Bernadetta got a look at it. Definitely one of those days, isn't it?

* * *

Notes:

So yeah. This turned out to be far longer than I originally planned. Though, I do like how this turned out. Especially the part at the end.

As for the whole NPR thing, I just can't stand that station from time spent working and it being on.

.

Next time; Chapter 4. The whole thing.


End file.
